


The Road to Forgiveness Be Damned

by Airi (MultisFabulis)



Series: Corona's Shadow [2]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Body Horror, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Euthanasia, Fantastic Racism, Fantasy, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Past Child Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-29
Updated: 2020-02-26
Packaged: 2020-03-26 15:23:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 30,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19008520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MultisFabulis/pseuds/Airi
Summary: After mustering up the resolve to finally stop running away, Venlithea Virthana heads to her old village of Thal Esari to seek forgiveness for the crime she committed as a child. While coming back to the place where she was horrifically abused is scary enough, she knows that, in order to earn her redemption, she needs to confront the demons of her past, no matter how much she wishes to avoid them.While this journey is one of atonement, it is also one for self-reflection and discovery. Time will only tell what she'll find out about herself and her future.





	1. Return to a Paradisal Hell

      Thal Esari seemed to be almost how Ven had remembered it. The same patchy dirt ground, the same old, rickety buildings, the same sunny sky… It was the perfect idyllic paradise from the outside. She, however, considered Thal Esari to be a miserable and hateful hell.

     The dread she felt during the beginning of this trip grew tremendously after passing through the entrance. She never imagined being here again and her mind was screaming at her to run away. A part of her wanted to, though she knew she couldn’t. She had a reason for coming back here. This was too important for her to throw away, no matter how scared she was. 

     After looking around a bit, Ferreth said, “Reminds me of Thesriden, ‘cept it’s nowhere near this… cultured, if that makes sense.” 

     “Hasn’t changed much since my stay here,” she replied, taking in all the familiar sights, sounds, and smells. Everything was slowly coming back to her. 

     “You spent some of your childhood here, right?” he asked. 

     “Mm-hmm, eight years before my… banishment.” 

     She cupped her hands over her mouth to calm her breathing. A tightly knitted knot of nerves began to unravel with each passing second. Despite how warm it was, the fact that she was here again made her shiver. Just standing here gave her more anxiety than she knew what to do with. If she was already feeling this bad, how will she fare upon meeting the person responsible for it? 

     Noticing her distress, he asked concernedly, “Ven, you all right?” 

     His voice broke through her thoughts, something she greatly appreciated. Bringing her hair over her shoulder to brush her hand through it, she said, “It’s just… I’m an adult now but I feel like a little kid again. I feel like looking over my shoulder to see if I have enough time to hide. It’s probably stupid to feel this way but…” 

     He put his hands on her shoulders. “Ven, we don’t have to do this if you’re not up for it. Your well-being is important so if you’re feeling scared, just say the word and we’ll go home right now.” 

     “Thank you for your concern but--” she took his hands off her shoulders-- “I need to do this. It’s hard for me to explain why but please understand that I feel I need to do this, okay?” 

     Despite the worry across his face, he let out a defeated sigh. “All right, but the second you say something, we’re going home. No ifs, ands, or buts about it.” 

     Her lips turned up into a small smile as she nodded her head in agreement. She felt lucky for having him around. He gave her some well-needed distraction at times and was reliable enough for stuff like this. He may not be able to completely understand what she went through but that was okay. So long as he listened and helped her whenever her memories overwhelmed her, she’d be okay. 

     “So we need to find this Filaurel, right?” he asked, hands clasped behind his head. 

     Glancing up to the sky, she replied, “Lady Filaurel should be at the town hall right around now.” 

     “Then we should get going, right?” 

     “Yes.” She brought the front of her cloak closer so as to bring herself some comfort. 

     So they were off to the town hall. They had some travelling to do, with them being in the outskirts while the building itself laid in the village square. Thank god it wasn’t busy today; otherwise, her anxiety would be going through the roof. 

     As they crossed the marketplace, she felt as if she was being watched. No matter how many times she looked, people were minding their business. Then again, her being here must be really out of place. She wondered if anyone had recognized her from long ago. If so, they had to be horrified at seeing the Vlixeox they once terrorized walking around the village again. After the crime she committed, she was sentenced to never return. 

     Ferreth’s pep talk did little to calm her nerves. Each step closer to the town hall brought her more anxiety. She was scared to see Lady Filaurel again, who had only dealt her vicious blows and scornful words. Anything she might say or do to her when they met again terrified her to no end. The only thing that made this even the slightest bit bearable was having Ferreth with her. 

     They finally arrived at the town hall and it still intimidated her. Unlike its kind, this had the finest of stonework lovingly crafted into it. Cement pillars painted to look like marble adorned the front and silver-framed doors led to the great hall. It represented everything Filaurel wanted Thal Esari to be. An ordinary village that transformed into what everyone believed paradise to look like. 

     “Pfft, seems a bit much for a place people gather at to talk about legal crap,” Ferreth said disapprovingly, rolling his eyes. 

     A guard stationed at the base of the stairs looked at them suspiciously. She found it weird for only one guard to be posted at the town hall. While the village was decently small by her standards, this made no sense. Either Filaurel was absolutely sure she was safe or her age was starting to get to her. 

     Exhaling a nervous breath, she approached the guard and asked, “Excuse me, is Lady Filaurel in right now?” 

     His demeanor changed suddenly and, hand reaching towards his weapon, stammered out, “A-and what business do you have with her?” 

     “Tell her Venlithea Virthana wants to see her.” Her eyes kept darting to his hand, bracing herself for its unsheathing. “It’s important.” 

     With stilted movements, he walked up the stone stairs and went inside. She sighed in relief, proud of herself for getting through the first hurdle. Not having a sword drawn on her was even better. Compared to the many other times it’s happened, this was a welcome change of pace. 

     The guard came back minutes later and said she’d see her. Her anxiety swelled as she gave him her thanks. Before she could go up the stairs, though, he whispered something into her ear. 

     “Try anything and you’ll be dead before you reach the gate. You and your friend.” 

     She gulped and quickly walked up with Ferreth in tow. Yep, that was more of what she was used to. Glad to know some things didn’t change over time, she thought sarcastically. Once at the top, she took hold of the door knob, turned it, and went inside the building. 

     There was an immediate shift in ambiance. Where it was warm and humid outside, it was cold and dry inside. The sense of unease she felt was so familiar, she may as well have been a child again. Her desire to run away burned so intensely, she imagined flames licking up the edges of her body. 

     Just beyond the next set of doors was Filaurel. Despite how chilly it was, she felt as if she were sweating buckets. Would she really be able to do this? To see the woman responsible for all her issues? 

     Placing a hand on her shoulder, Ferreth said, “Remember, Ven, whatever happens in there, I’ll be right there next to you.” 

     She laid her hand on his, thankful for the support. Even if the whole world turned against her, he’d be right by her side. Bracing herself for the uphill battle ahead, she went through the set of doors in front of her. 

     They entered a large room. The wall in front of them was nothing but a window that almost spanned corner to corner. To their left was a dais that held three seats, though the middle one stood taller than the two beside it. On the right were two small groups of benches divided in the middle and an overhanging balcony above them. In the center of the room was a lone elf. 

     Her long gray hair was pulled into a tight bun atop her head. She wore floor-length robes the color of ivory and held an oaken walking cane in front of her. The cane was only for show, which she often used to step on her hands as punishment. All the “discipline” she endured was ordered from this woman. Without a doubt, this was Filaurel, the leader of Thal Esari. 

     “Venlithea Virthana.” Her deep voice shook her to her core. “Kneel.” 

     She did as she was told and knelt. Her heart raced as she heard Filaurel take slow, careful steps towards her. The knot of nerves from earlier had fully unraveled, its imaginary strings beginning to fray from tension. Whatever she might do to her scared her to no end. 

     Raising her chin up with the curved end of her cane, Filaurel said, “You are very foolish to have come back here with a sentence of banishment.” 

     Eyes the color of roasted walnuts bore through the depths of her soul. Her throat felt incredibly dry as she tried to speak. She opened her mouth to say something but the words just wouldn’t come to her. 

     “Speak!” she commanded, her voice echoing in the empty room. 

     “Y-yes, it was very foolish of me to come back a-and I apologize for that.” She squeezed her eyes shut and took a gulp of air. “But I have something I want to discuss with you.” 

     She removed the cane from her chin. “You may stand.” 

     Filaurel walked away from her and she internally let out a big sigh of relief. She stood up to see her stepping onto the dais to sit in the middle seat. That was the first stage, now it was time for the second. 

     “So…” began Filaurel, clasping her hands together, “What is it you wish to discuss?” 

     Mustering up all the courage she had, she simply said, “I came to ask for forgiveness.” 

     She raised an eyebrow. “Really? Surely you jest.” 

     “I know you may have some… misgivings about me, which are completely valid, and I know that what I did is something I can never take back. But I---” 

     “You are right in that you’ve done something so horrendous, it can never be taken back. Why do you seek forgiveness from me?” 

     “B-because I’ve spent the time since my sentencing to think about what I’ve done and---” 

     “And you thought you could just waltz in here and ask for forgiveness, hoping I’d give it to you, just like that?” 

     “N-no, I---!” 

     “It appears to me you haven’t grown much, if at all, in the twelve years I banished you. Oh, Venlithea, you’re still so selfish. Only thinking of yourself while the poor souls you left in the wake of your destruction continue to writhe in agony…” 

     A hard lump formed in her throat as her eyes began to fill with tears. She knew this would happen, she should’ve expected this to happen. Why did she even bother trying to ask when she knew her voice didn’t matter? Maybe it was best for her to turn back now and forget about being forgiven… 

     “Hey!” Ferreth barked. “How ‘bout you stop interrupting her and let her finish speaking?” 

     Turning her eyes to him, Filaurel asked, “And who are you?” 

     “The name’s Ferreth and I’d appreciate it if you’d let Ven finish talking before chiming in with your thoughts on the matter.” 

     “Ven, hmm? A childish nickname for an immature Vlixeox.” 

     “At least she’s acting more mature than you, _Lady Filaurel_.” 

     She noticed one of her eyes twitching in annoyance. Ferreth, meanwhile, appeared to be trying to hide a smirk. He held nothing but contempt for the woman who made her life hell and she knew he’d make no attempt to conceal it. A small part of her secretly enjoyed seeing him rile her up. 

     “It’s not as if she’s barred from speaking,” Filaurel said, her chin resting on her hands, “If she’d just get to her point quicker, I’d listen.” 

     “Then let her say what she wants to say.” 

     Giving him a look she hoped conveyed gratitude, she stepped forward. “I wish to atone for my crime. I’ll do anything to earn your forgiveness, my Lady.” 

     “Anything?” 

     “Yes, my Lady.” 

     Filaurel fell silent as if to contemplate on her words. She bit her lip, wondering what to do if this failed. It was hard enough to push her fears down and come back to the place she regarded as hell. If she came all the way here only to be turned away on the first day, then there was no way she’d ever come back. 

     Minutes passed and she had apparently reached a decision. “If I were to give you a task that is to be carried out in few days’ time, would you do it?” 

     “Yes.” She answered quickly, eager to know what it was. “What would you have me do?” 

     “There’s been rumors of a… formidable beast that’s been seen roaming around the marshlands near here as of late. I’m afraid it may possibly come here and hurt, or even kill, innocent lives, something I’m sure you’re well-versed in. If you manage to stop it, I’ll consider forgiving you.” 

     Relief swept over her like a wave. It wasn’t a guaranteed outcome but a consideration was better than nothing. However, she didn’t dare let her guard down just yet. 

     “You can trust in that I’ll take care of it as soon as possible,” she said, letting her know that she could be relied on. 

     “Good.” She stood up and began walking off the dais. “You have four days.” 

     “Four days?!” Ferreth exclaimed. “You don’t even know if this thing exists and yet you’re sending us to go kill it?! What sense does that make?!” 

     “Be grateful I’m giving you that much time. If I wasn’t in a generous mood today, I’d send you out there tomorrow.” 

     He muttered something under his breath she couldn’t catch. Knowing him, though, it was probably nothing pleasant. While she did appreciate him defending her on her behalf, he could be a little too outspoken sometimes. 

     They made their way towards the exit. Four days was their time limit, which meant they couldn’t go a day past that. There were so many variables to account for, like how far the marshlands were and what they were going up against. A plan needed to be formulated before they took any sort of action. 

     “Remember, Venlithea,” Filaurel said from behind them, “I’ll be watching over you to make sure you fulfill your duty. Otherwise, you can expect there to be… consequences.” 

     A slam with the end of her cane caused her heart to seize up. Her skin broke out into goosebumps as she struggled to catch her breath. The implications of what she meant were endless. She could only hope that, if she were to fail, her punishment was anything other than a whipping. 

     The sky was being overtaken with orange when they left town hall. People were closing up shop as parents ushered their kids home for the evening. She remembered wandering around the village till nighttime as a child. Yearning for a family she’d go home to every day, only to be filled with disappointment upon arriving there. It was easy to see why she was so jealous of the other children. 

     “How you feeling, Ven?” Ferreth asked. 

     “A little worse for wear but--” she tucked her hair inside her cloak to put her hood up-- “nothing I can’t handle.” 

     “God, the nerve of that bitch. Did you hear what she said to you?” 

     “She’s always done that, bringing up my wrongdoings to blackmail me with them. I’m used to it.” 

     “That’s exactly why you should get mad at her! Tell her off! Say that she’s a complete bitch and that she can’t control you anymore!” 

     “I don’t think I’d ever be able to do that. She still scares me, Ferret, and I’ve moved on from that.” 

     How could she stand up to the person that terrified her? Filaurel was the leader of Thal Esari, the woman with the most authority in the village. She could easily order one of her guards to kill her if she did anything to rebel and no one would bat an eye. After all, she was a Vlixeox, a waste of space. As far as she was concerned, she would forever be a plaything of hers to control. 

     Besides, she was right in that she moved on. She found people that cared about her, loved her, supported her. She even met three of the most important people in her life and wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world. There was no need for confrontation because she was fine without it. With this one exception, she was ready to turn her back on this place once and for all. 

     “Well, it’s a good thing that your good friend Ferreth--” he smiled mischievously and put an arm around her shoulders-- “can take a little bit of revenge for you.” 

     “Ferret, what did you do?” she asked, dreading his answer. 

     “Nothing much.” He turned her around to face the town hall and pointed at one of the pillars. “Look at where I’m pointing and you’ll see just what I did.” 

     She had to squint her eyes in order to see it. On the pillar he pointed out was a large superficial crack in the marble paint. Several smaller cracks were spread out from the big one and appeared to wrap around the pillar. Paint had already flaked off alongside some of the cracks, revealing the hidden cement underneath. 

     Her gasp quickly turned to laughter and she put her hands up to her mouth to try and hide it. “Ferret!” 

     “Since Filaurel seems to love showing off how elite she thinks she is, I figured why not knock her down a peg?” His eyes seemed to glimmer with wickedness. 

     “How? When?!” 

     “I did it after we left and all I had to do was tap a claw against it and there went the marble. I did it to all the other pillars, too.” 

     The other pillars were in the same state as she saw the first one in. She was trying her hardest to keep her laughter in. Whatever tension she had left from inside the town hall completely dissipated. 

     “She’s going to be so mad,” she said, in-between laughs. 

     “Eh, let her be pissed off.” He stood up straight. “Serves her right for being mean to you.” 

     This was exactly what she needed after everything that happened earlier. Something that could get her mind off the fear and chaos running rampant inside. For the first time since their arrival today, she was happy. 

     Stepping away, he said, “Okay, with that out of the way, we need to figure out where we’re staying. I doubt anyone’s gonna let a Vlixeox inside their establishment.” 

     “I know a place a little ways from here.” 

     So the pair started off towards the place she had in mind. At certain places within the village, she’d talk about the memories she had there. She wanted him to know more of her childhood, trusting him enough to know he’d listen. 

     The marketplace she stole from to survive. The playground she’d always be excluded from if there were kids playing. The village square the masses would convene at to see her public punishments. The buildings full of people that gave her either fearful looks or cruel words. As much as she wished they didn’t exist, she remembered every single vile act they carried out against her. If she had any good memories of Thal Esari, she couldn’t recall them. 

     They arrived at their destination and it was a mess. The stony exterior had become weathered with time, as shown by the moss growing on the walls. Overgrown vines on the windows made it impossible to see through to the other side. Nature took this place back from her, that much was clear. Even so, she felt the slightest tinge of comfort in knowing she was home. 

     Time had taken an even greater toll inside. Some spots on the walls had paint flaked off while pictures hung crooked. Glass from broken window panes littered the floor below and white cloth covered most of the furniture. Specks of dust could be seen floating around in the air through what little sunlight was allowed in. Although everything was different, it also seemed to be the same as over a decade ago. 

     Looking around, he said, “I don’t know, is this really the best place for us to stay? Seems a little… risky.” 

     “It may not be… ideal but this was home for me.” She walked into what used to be the living room. “It’s probably the only place I feel safe in.” 

     A piece of glass crackled under her feet. She crouched down to carefully pick it up, avoiding slices to her gloved fingers. It reflected her face back at her, making her realize it was part of a mirror. Smaller shards of glass laid below a broken mirror that sat in front of her, some pieces still inside the frame. 

     Coming over to where she was, he said, “That a mirror? I wonder who broke it.” 

     “I did.” She rubbed her thumb over the surface, cleaning off the dust. “I think it was because I was mad that I wasn’t normal. No matter what I did, it wouldn’t change the fact that I was a Vlixeox. Looking into it reminded me of everything I wasn’t so I broke it. I hated myself back then.” 

     “Do you still hate yourself now?” 

     What answer could she give, she wondered. Not once in her life had she ever liked herself and it remained true to this day. Would there come a time she’d actually like herself, or even love? Meeting Eric made her want to believe it was possible because he befriended her, regardless of her race. She still hated herself but her self-loathing had lightened since that day. 

     “A little less than before.” 

     With a warm smile, he put his hand on her head and said, “That’s good. It’s better than nothing.” 

     Seeing his smile broke hers out as well. It was only a small change in how she felt about herself but it was enough to shift her perspective some. Maybe this epiphany finally set her on the path to acceptance, she imagined him to say. 

     Later that night, they came up with a plan for tomorrow. With the distance between Thal Esari and the marshlands unknown, they decided to run reconnaissance. Once that was determined, they’d set off to kill their prey the next day. Hopefully, the marshlands were half a day’s travel. There’d only be so much stuff they could carry on their person, necessities and all. 

     When the time came for sleep, he insisted on letting her have the bed. It was probably for the best, seeing how small it was. She remembered all the nights she spent crying herself to sleep or hiding from tormentors. Taking off her cloak and shaking her hair loose from her ponytail, she got under the covers. 

     She was able to see the starry sky from outside her window. It was quiet as well, something she was all too familiar with. Curling her body up under the thin blanket, she braced herself for another restless night.


	2. Ripples of the Past

     Dim morning light peeked through the vines as Ferreth waited up for Ven. Were it not for the noise outside, he’d have no idea how early it was. He needed to get better at waking up earlier. If they wanted to accomplish their task within the four day time limit, he couldn’t be sleeping in like this. It’d help if he knew how far they’d have to go to the swamp but nothing in life was that easy.

     He found it weird how Filaurel didn’t tell them of anything to look out for. Nothing of its appearance, its behavior. If he didn’t know better, it was almost as if she was setting them up for failure. By not telling them jack, they’d waste away the four days wondering what they were hunting for till they eventually gave in. It’d be par for the course for that sadistic bitch. 

     The way she treated Ven yesterday infuriated him. Barely letting her get a word in, twisting her words around to seem as if she were at fault… She probably would’ve done way worse had he not stepped in. He already resented her for being the core of Ven’s issues but her actions yesterday cemented his hate for her. If only he could make Ven realize she wasn’t to be trusted at her word… 

     Ven came out at that moment, struggling to tie her hair up. She seemed to be the same as ever, though that didn’t mean much to him today. With her tendency to hide how she really felt at times, she may be feeling worse than she let on. She proved herself to be a better actress than he gave her credit for sometimes. 

     Despite his concern, he mustered up a smile and asked, “Hey, how’d you sleep last night?” 

     “The usual,” she replied, becoming increasingly frustrated over tying her hair up without the help of a mirror. 

     “Any nightmares?” 

     “No more than usual. Hey, can you help me with this? I can’t seem to get it right…” She held out a brush and hair tie to him. 

     Although she said that nonchalantly, he was worried. She may be used to the nightmares but he wasn’t sure _he’d_ be able to. Seeing how she acted when they arrived, he hoped being here wouldn’t exacerbate those bad dreams at some point. The only thing he could do was lend an ear, though he wished it wasn’t so. 

     Brushing through her hair, he asked, “Ven, you’d tell me if the nightmares got worse, right?” 

     “Would that be okay with you?” she asked, the tone of uncertainty he’s heard times before present in her voice. “I don’t want to be more of a burden to you than I already am…” 

     “Yeah!” He gathered all of her hair and tied it up into a ponytail. “I know I can’t do more for you than just listen but… I’ll always be there for you, you know?” 

     She barely responded to his words. He couldn’t tell if she believed him or wanted to, in any case. His mind flashed back to the time they had to wait out rain in a cave nearby during one of their missions. He promised her she could rely on him in times like this and no way in hell would he back out on that now. Not when she might need him to help her through this. 

     Putting an arm around her shoulders, he bumped his forehead against hers and said, “Remember, you can lean on me whenever you want to. I can’t offer much but I’ll be there for you. I promised you that and I’m sticking by it.” 

     The smallest glimpses of a smile rose up on her face. Smiles were rare to see from her, making this moment mean more than it usually did. He loved her smiles just as much as he loved her and wanted to make her as happy as she deserved to be. No matter how long it may take him, he was determined to see her smile without anything holding her down. 

     Upon leaving, they made their way over to the outskirts. It was considerably busier today, with carts going in and out at the gate and several guards checking the insides of each one. If they were worried about someone bringing in contraband, that person would be pretty stupid to do it in plain sight. 

     He felt hands grab onto his arm, knowing them to be Ven’s. This was something she did whenever she felt there were too many people around and needed to ease her anxiety. She was like Eric in that they absolutely hated being in or around crowds because it’d overwhelm them to the point of panic attacks. Unlike him, she still hadn’t gotten a handle on it yet. Being in this place probably didn’t help. 

     He also felt as if there were eyes on them. Someone watching them from a place he couldn’t see, no matter how many times he looked. He had a sneaking suspicion that it was Filaurel making good on her threat through one of her lackeys. Nice to know the bitch didn’t trust them to carry out her “assignment” without any supervision. 

     Getting through the gates was surprisingly easy. He thought, for sure, they would be stopped and he’d have to waste time convincing the guards to let them go. Instead, they just saw them off without a word. Whatever the reason was, he wasn’t complaining and went on his way. Once they were far enough away from the village, she let go of his arm and walked alongside him. 

     Making their way westward, he hoped to find a high place to scout from. It wasn’t necessarily a requirement but it’d be nice to have one all the same. At least it’d prevent him from going into his Dradnach form and waiting a while to turn back once he was done. If he were an Air Dradnach, none of this would matter and he’d just be able to fly up. Just another thing to add to the ever-growing list of “why being an Earth Dradnach sucks”. 

     “Ferret, could you… not help me so much with this?” she asked out of the blue as they trekked up a steep hill. 

     Taken aback by her question, he stopped walking and replied, “W-what do you mean? I can’t just not help you.” 

     “I know, it’s just that…” She stopped at the peak. “I feel like if I depend on you for anything I could do on my own, it won’t feel as if I’ve truly earned my forgiveness. It’s hard for me to explain and I know it doesn’t make any sense but… I’m only asking that you not help me a lot with this task. Not until I feel as if I’ve put in the work. Can you do that for me, please?” 

     How could he just not help her with this? It wasn’t that he doubted she could carry this out on her own or saw her as a damsel in need. He knew better than anyone how strong she was and how extraordinary her abilities were. It seemed like she was only asking this because she believed it’d get her into Filaurel’s good graces. Knowing her, it still wouldn’t be enough. 

     Even so, he begrudgingly gave in and said, “All right but I’m not promising anything.” 

     “It wouldn’t be right of me to ask you to promise something like that.” 

     They continued on till they reached a field. A couple dead trees were over to their left while their right had nothing but tall grass blowing in the breeze. Despite the sun bearing down on them, it was a nice day today. The perfect day to do some reconnaissance, he thought. 

     Unfortunately, this would be where they’d stop. He didn’t know how much further the swamp was and they needed a good view of it to proceed onwards. No way could they risk stumbling in there blind only to get ambushed. Too bad it meant turning into his Dradnach form but it couldn’t be helped. 

     “Hey, Ven,” he called out to her, “I think I know how we can do recon.” 

     Tilting her head in confusion, she asked, “We’re not moving ahead?” 

     “Nah. We don’t know how close or far we are from the swamp and I’d rather play it safe than risk falling into a trap.” 

     “Okay, so what’s your plan?” She crossed her arms in front of her chest. 

     “Well, since I’m about 20 and a half feet tall as a Dradnach, I could just turn, have you on my head as lookout, and turn back in the span of… 10, 15 minutes.” 

     “We’re really desperate, aren’t we?” 

     “It’s better than nothing. Besides, I know you’ve gotta be dying to see what I really look like. It _is_ a pretty rare occasion, you know.” 

     A snort and roll of her eyes gave way to a small smile. He liked making her smile, whether it be through cracking jokes or playful teasing. Her laughs were even rarer than her smiles and he managed to do that twice this trip. Even if their mission came out as a bust, today wouldn’t all be in vain. 

     “All right, I’m gonna go change,” he said, heading into the field on his right side, “Don’t freak out if you see a big, fat, brown lizard in a few minutes!” 

     The grass was about chest-high as he pushed past the golden blades. He needed to be a good distance away for this. His transformations always took quite a bit of space and there was no telling how much room he had in this field. He wandered down a straight line for some time before stopping. 

     This spot was as good as any. He did some warm-up exercises, such as stretching his arms and legs out and cracking his bones, to prepare himself. The last time he did this was in Thornewind several months ago, back before he met Eric. At least the reason for it was different this time around. He took a deep breath, clearing his mind of any and all distractions, and underwent the transformation process. 

     He grew to thrice his size, flattening the grass around him. His skin hardened, causing scales that felt rough and rigid to grow over. Steely claws made to dig through the toughest of rock replaced his thin fingers. A stubby tail sprouted out from his backside, resembling that of a docked animal. Despite his grand stature, he was smaller than others of his kin, due to not being a pure-blooded Earth Dradnach. His brother loved to lord that over him when he could. 

     Bringing his head down for Ven, he asked, “So what do you think? Pretty cool, right?” 

     “If I can be honest, you seem more like a dog than a dragon.” She placed a hand on his snout. “A very scaly dog.” 

     “How do I look in any way like a dog?” 

     “Well, aside from the both of you being cute, kind, funny, lovable, and protective, you’re very huggable in this form, like a dog. If you just had fur, you’d be even cuter!” 

     She let out a laugh as he nuzzled her. Only she could get away with comparing him to a dog and making it sound good. He wished this kind of thing happened more often, though without the “being compared to a dog” part. 

     “I’m still cool, though, right?” 

     “Very.” 

     She climbed up and sat atop his head, waiting. He slowly stood up on his hind legs, carefully raising his head so as to not let her fall. Without any horns or spikes for her to grab on to in case she did, this was especially important. Once he was in an upright position, he could breathe out a sigh of relief. She was still perched on his head, meaning the hardest part of the job was done. 

     With that out of the way, they saw what laid beyond the field. A dark forest still miles away from their current location sat before a marshy region. Tall willow trees were scattered across black water, decorated with green lilypads and algae. He hoped to see their quarry roaming about but luck wasn’t on his side. Well, they had the lay of the land now, which was all that mattered. 

     Despite knowing all this, he let her relay the information back to him. He stayed silent, remembering what she asked of him earlier. Things of this nature, such as giving her a boost without taking away her instrumentality, had to be fine by her. Although he couldn’t show it, he was beaming with pride. 

     Half a day’s travel was his best estimate for the swamp. If he were right, it’d mean they could be out by noon, finish the mission, and be back before dusk. They wouldn’t even need the fourth day if everything went to plan. The deed would be done, they’d report it to Filaurel, and head home the next day. 

     Soon as he put her down, he turned back to being human. His body shrunk and became more compact, a far cry from his Dradnach form. The scales that grew over him receded, his skin once more smooth to the touch. His claws straightened, thinning out to human fingers again. The stubby tail he had only in this form vanished, as if it never existed in the first place. Now he was back to regular, human-like Ferreth, with the exception of one last thing--- 

     Excruciating pain erupted from his arms, as if someone was jamming several knives into them all at once. He muttered an expletive through gritted teeth under his breath as the pain ebbed. That was the one thing he hated about shifting in-between the two forms. Every time he turned from one to the other, he had to endure the pain that occurred in his arms. No matter how much time had passed from his accident, it still hurt like it happened yesterday. 

     A hand on his shoulder, Ven was crouched down next to him and asking, “Are you okay? Do you need to rest?” 

     “I’m all right, I just need a minute and we’ll go, okay?” he replied, giving her an assuring smile. 

     He looked down to see if blood was beginning to seep into his wrappings. While his arms dully ached, the cloth was still a pristine white. Thank god for that, because he’d have a hard time trying to explain why he was suddenly bleeding. She didn’t need to know the reason why he kept his arms bandaged up. It was an unrelated matter, nothing she needed to be worried about. 

     Once his small break was done, they began walking back. Cool wind blew in from behind them, ruffling their hair and clothes. It was somewhat reminiscent of Thesriden, a place he didn’t think too fondly of. The times of him being tormented by his brother far outweighed any of the good memories he had of that place. He doubted he’d ever go back there, now that he had an actual home. 

     “Has anyone else seen you as a Dradnach yet back home?” she asked. 

     “Nope. I prefer staying in this form--” he gestured to himself-- “since it’s just easier doing stuff than it’d be if I stayed as a dragon.” 

     “I must be pretty special, then,” she said almost jokingly. 

     “I’d say being the girl I’m in love with counts as being pretty special.” 

     A roll of her eyes and a warm smile were all she gave in response. This wasn’t the first time he professed his love to her and it certainly wouldn’t be the last. He didn’t need her to reciprocate his feelings because he just liked being her friend. Not like she’d want to be with someone like him, anyway… 

     “Oh, I just realized, would your powers be able to work in swamps?” she asked. 

     “Maybe?” While he did work best in the kind of environment they were in now, swamps were like gray areas. “I mean, if there’s earth around, I can work with it. With swamps, though, everything’s practically mud so it may be tricky…” 

     “You never tried?” 

     “My mother died before she could teach me. Trust me, if she were still alive, she’d conquer that swamp for sure.” 

     Memories of his mother flashed through his mind. He remembered how strong and confident she was, the way she used the water and earth around her so effortlessly as if they were tools for her to create with. She was a woman he was proud of being a son to and he loved her so, so much. Then she died, leaving him alone with his father and brother to deal with. Years have passed since her death yet the scar it left on him still festered to this day. 

     “I wonder if she would’ve been like her…” He heard her mutter under her breath. It was easy to forget she didn’t have such a thing growing up. She had it so much worse than him and he needed to keep remembering that. 

     The sun was beginning to set when they made it back. People were either closing up shop or returning home, a scene carried over from yesterday. Quick glances at Ven revealed a face full of melancholic nostalgia. He’ll never understand why she’d want to remember every bad thing that happened in the past when he’d rather just forget it all. Maybe it was just a difference of opinion on how they wanted to cope with the effects of what their crappy childhoods burdened them with. 

     Having to stay in her childhood home for the duration of their time here made him apprehensive. Despite her assurances of its security, he felt inclined to say otherwise. How the hell was this rickety old house in any way safe, he wondered. Still, he kept his mouth shut so as to not upset her. This was once her home, even if he didn’t have a good thing to say about it. 

     “Oh yeah,” he said suddenly, remembering what he discovered last night, “did you know anyone named Thessalia?" 

     Her eyes widened in shock and she replied with, “…That was my mother’s name.” 

     “I’m only asking because, after you went to bed last night, I got bored and decided to explore a bit. I found this old journal in a drawer and when I opened it, the first page had the name Thessalia on it.” 

     “Could I see it, please?” 

     He went over to a dusty cabinet and pulled out the drawer. An old leather book full of yellowed pages sat inside. If this really was her mother’s journal, then it’s been laying in that drawer for about twenty years. The fact she hadn’t known of its existence meant this would be the first time she’d see this. 

     As he handed the book over to her, she said, “I’ve wanted to know about my mother and who she was for so long and the answers were here the whole time.” 

     Several different emotions flickered across her face as she held the book in her hands. She took off a glove to feel the crinkled leather from underneath her bare fingers. Then she opened the cover to touch the first page, only to quickly flip through the rest of the musty pages. This was easily the most excited he’s ever seen her and, considering how she was normally, it’s become a big highlight of the trip so far. 

     Still holding the journal, she hugged him and said, “Thank you, thank you, thank you. You have no idea how much this means to me.” 

     The sudden hug rendered him speechless. Not noticing his lack of a response, she bid him a good night and walked to her room with a bounce in her step. He patted his cheeks to get rid of the blush, flabbergasted at what just happened. 

     Despite how dazed he was, seeing just how happy she was right now put him in such high spirits. That journal was a goldmine of answers for her, who had been wondering just hours ago what her mother was like back then. No doubt she’d be reading through that book all night tonight. 

     Even if it ran the risk of her being tired for tomorrow, she deserved this. Hopefully, they didn’t die tomorrow and she could be forgiven for her crime. So long as they kept their wits about them and protected each other, it’ll be smooth sailing. Then, when the four day time limit was up, they could go back home.


	3. Redemption for a Blameless Sin

     A yawn escaped from Ven’s mouth as she brushed her hair. She spent a good chunk of last night reading her mother’s journal. The small glimpses into her life made her want to continue reading, no matter how drowsy she got. She was only able to push through the first few pages before she stopped for the night. Today was too important to risk screwing up on. 

     She and Ferreth would soon set off for the swamp to slay their quarry. Although they had no concrete plan as of now, the groundwork was at least there. Step one: kill the creature, step two: inform Filaurel of the deed, and step three: reap in the reward. Third step was still up in the air, however. 

     As she finished pulling her hair back into the usual ponytail, Ferreth asked her, “How was your reading last night?” 

     “It was…” she paused, searching for the right word to use, “interesting, to say the least.” 

     “Not what you expected?” 

     “You… could say that.” 

     She then described some of what she had read through. While some of the entries were typical for someone of Thessalia’s age, others were more… suggestive. It wasn’t till the 3rd or 4th entry of that kind she realized her mother was a woman who avoided commitment like it was the plague. Nothing wrong with that, it just didn’t fit the image she had of her. 

     “While it’s a little awkward to read--” she tucked a lock of hair behind her ear-- “it still lets me know who my mother was back then.” 

     “Hey, whatever works, right?” 

     “Mm-hmm.” 

     They left the house in a moment’s time. Everything was about the same as usual as they walked towards the outskirts. It seemed to be quieter today, a small difference compared to the day before. This was more of the Thal Esari she experienced from her childhood, remembering how she used to be out more when it was quiet. It felt strangely nostalgic, something she never thought she’d miss. 

     A crack from nearby seized her heart. It was something she was terribly familiar with and it sounded just as awful as it did way back when. Her stomach roiled as she tried to fight the urge to vomit. 

     Her past and present were beginning to blur together into a kind of mismatched “reality”. Tall, dark figures flickered in and out of her vision, surrounding her for one second and then disappearing the next. Her throat felt seemingly sore from the imaginary cries for help she knew would fall on deaf ears. Blistering heat flared up all across her back from both the lashings and the dirt stinging the open wounds. She fell to the ground, clutching her chest, as tears filled her eyes. 

     She needed to do something, **anything** , to ground herself back to reality. It didn’t matter what but it had to be **now**. She took out the knife she kept hidden away in her cloak and sliced her left hand open. 

     It easily cut through the fabric of her glove as well as the skin on her palm. Good thing she sharpened it before coming here. Scarlet blood bled from her wound, though the black cloth of her glove did well to disguise it. She then opened and closed her hand tightly several times in an attempt to magnify the pain. 

     You’re okay, she kept repeating to herself. You’re not a little kid anymore. There’s nothing they can do to hurt you. Ferret wouldn’t dare let anyone hurt you again. Breathe in, then breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out. 

     The nausea she felt soon settled and her breathing steadied itself. The figures her mind conjured up vanished like the illusions they were. Her voice no longer felt like it was stuck, hearing her breaths come out clearly. The burning sensation across the span of her back was absent yet her scars still ached. Despite the dulling pain in her hand, she was okay. She was safe. 

     Crouched down next to her, Ferreth asked her worriedly, “Ven, you okay? You need somewhere quiet?” 

     “I’m fine,” she replied, her voice hoarse, “I just got a little sick, is all.” 

     “...Come on, let’s get out of here.” 

     Upon helping her up, he kept an arm around her waist to have her lean on him as they walked through the gates. Her legs felt weak as her head spun so she appreciated him acting as a wall of sorts for her. Those attacks always left her feeling like she had been put through the wringer after they passed. 

     He sat her down in the shade of a nearby tree and gave her some water to drink. It flowed down her throat with ease, cooling her insides. She felt her dizziness lighten some as she wiped away the beads of sweat that formed on her forehead. 

     “You all right?” he asked. 

     “Yeah, I’m just…” She let out a small breath. “A little dizzy, that’s all.” 

     “You sure? You haven’t gone down like that in a while, you know,” he said while brushing a stray lock of hair away from her face. 

     “Ferret.” She gave him a small smile. “I’m okay.” 

     It was hard to convince him of that once his worry set in but he let the matter go. She sometimes felt lucky to have someone show as much concern as he did for her, whether it be over protecting her from enemy attacks or helping her recover from flashbacks like earlier. She was truly blessed to have him in her life. 

     Looking as if he realized something, he said, “Ven, let me see your hand.” 

     She almost forgot about the open wound on her hand. As she held it out to him, she could see blood still seeping into her glove. She had no idea how deep her cut was or how hard she slashed with her knife. 

     Taking off her glove, he grimaced and said, “Yeesh, you cut a little too deep for my liking. Nothing a roll of bandages won’t fix, though.” 

     He took out a fresh white roll of bandages and began wrapping her hand up. As she watched him work, a pang of regret struck her heart. Even if she felt lucky to have him worry over her, it didn’t stop the guilt from gnawing away at her. None of this would be happening if she didn’t break down at the crack of a whip every time she heard one. 

     “Hey, Ferret?” Her eyes fell down to the ground. “Sorry for always making you do this.” 

     “Do what? Take care of you like the friend I am?” he asked. 

     “You shouldn’t **have** to take care of me. Having to look after me every time I get lost in my memories isn’t fair to you. You do all these nice, wonderful things for me and I do nothing but be a burden to you. It just isn’t fair.” 

     “Ohh, believe me--” She felt him let go of her hand-- “you do so much more for me than I think you’ll ever know.” 

     She looked up to see him before her with an outstretched hand. He had the warmest smile gracing his face and a gleam of love in his eyes. She didn’t deserve to have such things directed towards her. 

     “You’re not a burden to me, Ven. Despite what you may think, I take care of you because I want to, not because I feel like I have to. I know you’d be saying the same thing to me so no more feeling like you’re a burden, okay?” 

     She wanted so desperately to believe him when he said that. It wasn’t that she didn’t believe he meant every word of it. It was just so much easier to keep everything inside and not bother anyone with her troubles. They had better things to do with their time than sit and listen to her vent. After all, she had been told that no one would care about the struggles of an insignificant Vlixeox all her life. Why annoy someone when she knew she didn’t matter to them? 

     Still, it wouldn’t be fair to Ferreth if she didn’t give him a chance. She couldn’t promise him anything but she could at least try. It was the least she could do after subjecting him to one of her flashbacks again. 

     Placing her hand in his, she smiled and said, “I’ll try not to be.” 

     A wave of exhaustion suddenly washed over her after he helped her up. She was always left feeling drained whenever everything settled down. All she wanted to do was lay in a nice, soft bed and sleep the day away. However, there was something far more important she needed to do first. 

     As she started walking towards where the swamp was, Ferreth ran up next to her and asked, “Ven, are you sure you don’t wanna wait till tomorrow to do this? I mean, you just had another attack so…” 

     “It’ll be fine,” she replied. “It’s not like being tired has stopped me before.” 

     “Yeah, but still…” 

     “Ferret, you know this’ll only end in one of two ways. You’ll either have to carry me back, kicking and screaming, or we can continue on our merry way. Which will it be?” 

     That came out harsher than she wanted it to but it needed to be said. They had a mission to accomplish on a time limit. She didn’t want precious time to be wasted on her mental state when it could be used for more pressing matters. Once this was done, then she could finally relax. 

     He let out a sigh and said, “Fine, but I’m only letting you have your way because I know you’re too stubborn to accept a no.” 

     He really knew how to make her feel guilty sometimes. Whether or not he did it on purpose, she didn’t know. She figured, once their mission was done, she’d apologize and make it up to him. After all, she was forcing him to go against his better judgment by letting her continue on, despite the emotional ordeal she just went through. It’d only be fair. 

     Past the field of tall grass, they finally reached the dark forest. She was quick to notice the many peculiarities this place had. The trees had pieces of bark missing from them, the sizes anywhere from small lumps to large slabs. Leaves the color of decaying brown were preventing sunlight from filtering through its dense yet frail canopy. The patches of grass that sprouted up had no color to them. 

     The forest looked as if something was slowly sucking the life away from it. Whatever it was, she knew it had to be an unnatural force. If drastic measures weren’t taken right away, the forest would eventually die. 

     Still, it was something she couldn’t concern herself with. They didn’t come here to investigate why the forest was slowly dying. They came here to hunt down an animal that could potentially pose a threat to the people of Thal Esari and kill it. After that, they’d report back to Filaurel and turn their backs on this place. Whatever was going on with this forest, it wasn’t their problem to deal with. 

     Gathering her resolve, she let out a determined breath and said, “Let’s go.” 

     “Wait.” He grabbed her wrist to stop her from going in. “What’s the plan?” 

     “We go in, find it, kill it, and report back to Lady Filaurel,” she replied matter-of-factly. 

     “You can’t be serious.” 

     “Do you have a better idea in mind?” 

     He gave her a confident smile. “When do I not?” 

     The plan he came up with was leagues better than her own. They were to split up so as to cover more ground and search for tracks. Since they were assuming their quarry to be of an unusual nature, they needed to be on the lookout for anything conveying that. If one of them found tracks, they’d signal the other via bird calls. Good thing there were barely, if any, birds around. Then it was just a matter of following them till they led to their target. If luck was on their side today, they could kill it quickly and inform Filaurel of the deed by the end of the day. 

     Before they went in, he stopped her again, holding her hand in his. “What is it?” 

     “...Be careful, okay? Don’t get reckless and think you can take it on by yourself. Just send me the signal if you find anything and I’ll come running.” 

     “I will.” She squeezed his hand to comfort him. “You be careful, too, you hear?” 

     He gave her an affirmative nod and let go of her hand. She took a deep breath, steeling herself for what lied ahead. This was it, the only thing standing between her and the forgiveness she yearned for was their quarry. Once it was taken care of, they’d come back to Thal Esari, deliver the news of its death to Filaurel, and she’ll have earned her reward. It’ll be enough for her to maybe, finally, begin to forgive herself. 

     Only one path left to take. Another deep breath to calm her nerves and then she set off towards the right side of the forest. She heard footsteps opposite from her direction, indicating Ferreth to have taken the left side. Let luck be on our side today, she silently prayed. 

     Walking through the forest felt eerie. What should be vibrant greens were dull grays, furthering her suspicion that this place was dying. The only sound she heard was her own footsteps, no bugs or birds seemingly around for miles. She kept an eye and ear out in case she found the remnants of her prey traipsing about. 

     As she wandered further in, she began to hear voices. They were indistinct whispers so she couldn’t make them out, no matter how hard she strained her ears. It was difficult to tell whether she was imagining them because of the creepy atmosphere or if they really were there. Either way, a pit started to grow in her stomach. 

     Then came the shadows. She’d catch something darting out from the corners of her eyes every so often, only for there to be nothing when she turned to see. It didn’t help that she could barely make out anything within the darkness of the forest. Maybe it was her exhaustion from earlier causing her mind to play tricks on her, she figured. It did nothing to stop the pit from growing. 

     She spotted a break in the darkness several feet ahead of her. Getting closer, she saw it was a ray of sunlight illuminating what appeared to be a drop-off. Whether it led to a cliff or a steep hill, she couldn’t tell from this distance. She crouched down and crept toward it as stealthily as possible. 

     Coming up on the drop-off revealed several things. First, the drop-off itself was part of a hill that led to the swamp’s empty yet otherwise clean shore. Secondly, the swamp didn’t appear to be stricken with whatever curse was placed on the forest. Thirdly, she could hear bugs chirping and toads croaking from the swamp just ahead, wondrous sounds that may as well have been music to her ears. Lastly, she finally found what she was looking for. 

     A very large print of some kind was impressed deeply into the ground. The print, upon closer inspection, looked to be of a hand, albeit deformed. She could recognize each finger and the thumb but there were also other finger-like appendages attached to them. Whatever left this handprint here had the condition she’d seen on some people where they had more than five fingers on their hands but in a more extreme fashion. The size of the handprint was easily twice the size of her hand by comparison. 

     On both sides of the handprint were large puddles. She took a glove off and dipped her fingers into one of the puddles to see what it was. Her heart skipped a beat as she gasped. It wasn’t the fact that she was touching slobber left over from where her quarry was standing or that it felt gross and slimy that made her quickly pull her hand away. It was the warmth and realization of what that warmth meant. 

     She heard a twig snap behind her and she whirled around. All she could see was a massive silhouette and many pairs of eyes glaring at her. The eyes were blue, green, brown, hazel, gray and she thought she saw two irises and pupils inside each socket. It snarled and growled with such ferocity, her heart sank down into her stomach. Guess she found her target. 

     No sudden movements, she repeated to herself as she slowly moved her arm up to grab the end of her glaive. Even though she followed her mantra down to a T, it wasn’t enough. The creature charged at her, its gallops pounding against the ground. She stumbled back in shock, forgetting about the sudden drop-off. 

     Her foot found no ground and she let out a scream. Pain scattered throughout her body as she fell down the steep hill. Sticks and rocks jabbed and cut her while leaves stuck to her like glue. She soon reached the end, groaning as she glanced down to inspect the damage. 

     Blood and dirt were smeared over the bare patches of skin. Her stockings had several small tears in them, no doubt from the sticks that broke during her tumble. Her body felt sore while the cuts she sustained stung. She probably had a ton of scrapes and bruises all over her body that she couldn’t see. In the end, though, she was glad she wasn’t seriously injured after a fall like that. 

     A ghastly roar from above sent chills down her spine. She looked up just in time to see the creature leap off the drop-off and land in front of her. With it now out in the sunlight, she could see what it really was. 

     It was _big_ , easily bigger than Ferreth, which _scared_ her. It had a wild mane of tangled dark hair limply hanging on either side of its equine-like face. Thin, milky white skin covered its whole body except for the legs, which appeared to be rotting and she could see maggots feasting on dead flesh. Jagged discolored teeth protruded out its bottom jaw as thick drool dripped onto the ground. The many pairs of eyes that glared at her in hatred filled her with a dread she didn’t understand as she realized something. Why did those eyes look so familiar? 

     She didn’t have time to think about that as the creature suddenly lunged a clawed hand at her. The claws were little more than bones sharpened to a point. She quickly drew up a wall of darkness to try and block the attack. Its claws tore through it like paper and she went flying right to a tree. A strangled groan came out as her back slammed into the trunk and she fell onto the ground. 

     Another roar was let loose as she struggled to get up. Her back ached and she found it hard to breathe but she needed to move. This thing could attack her again at any moment and it was out for blood. 

     Sure enough, the creature leapt towards her, claws outstretched and mouth agape. She side-stepped out of the way just in time to avoid being pinned down. It shot her a heated glance and growled, its upper lip curling to reveal sharp fangs. She wasted no time in getting the hell outta there. 

     She ran as far as her legs could carry her. She needed to be a good distance away from this thing before she could even think about taking it down. The sheer power it had to tear through her defenses so easily proved to her it wasn’t to be underestimated. Her style of fighting wouldn’t work here, it’d be too risky. How would she be able to fight it if she couldn’t touch it, she realized. 

     Well, she still had her trump card but… She didn’t feel comfortable using her power for combat. It was one thing to use it casually and for assistance in battles but it was a whole other matter to use it to fight. Just the thought of using her power with the intent to hurt her enemy made her feel uneasy, regardless of whether or not they deserved it. She may have full control over it now but the chance she’d do more harm than good was still too great. She’ll just have to make do with her glaive and improvise. She could do that, no problem. 

     “Crap!” 

     She skidded to a halt upon seeing the swamp’s shoreline fast approaching. Willow trees were scattered all across the swamp, some having roots that emerged from underwater. The water itself was black, though she couldn’t tell if it was naturally murky or if something else was causing it to be like that. Green lilypads and moss were the only bright colors in an otherwise dreary place. However, she didn’t stop to take in the scenery. With how dark the water was, there was no way to tell how deep it went. This was a problem for her because of her inability to swim. 

     A roar came from behind her and she turned to face it. The creature caught up to her, its teeth bared and ready to tear her apart. Now she was really stuck between a rock and a hard place. 

     The only thing left to do was fight. She still didn’t know how or even if she could touch it without getting torn to shreds but she’d figure it out. She took a deep breath, steadying her nerves as she stared into its eyes dead-on. They looked so familiar yet she couldn’t remember where she had seen them before. No matter, it’d be dead soon, anyway. 

     The creature charged towards her, giving her a split second to react. Just as it’s about to ram her, she jumped up. She pressed a hand onto its head as if it were a vault and twisted her body. She was able to mount it with relative ease, the ache in her wrist notwithstanding. 

     It began to buck to throw her off as she tried to tangle her hands in its mane. Each time she’d grab on to a dark lock, it’d fall out into her hand. It was only when she did this several times that she noticed curdled, black sludge seeping out from the missing patches of hair. That and the constant feeling of cold slime moving in-between her legs disgusted her. 

     If she couldn’t get a good grip on it, there was always another option. She took out the knife from earlier, still stained in her blood, and plunged it deep in the space between its shoulders. Black sludge, which she now believed to be the creature’s blood, trickled out from the wound. 

     It howled in pain, multiple voices screaming over each other. Another wave of chills went down her spine as the creature galloped further into the swamp. Now it was imperative she hold on to the knife for dear life, lest she fall into the water and drown. It reared back and she felt the blade cut through its back. What she saw inside the open wound made her heart stop. 

     A rotting face rose up out of decaying flesh. Its skin was tanned and leathery, stretched taut over facial bones. Empty holes for eyes, no nose, thin, chapped lips, and sunken cheeks were all she could discern from it. The face opened its mouth and started to scream in a high pitched voice. This caused the creature to cease its bucking as she felt shifting skin between her legs. 

     She looked down to see large tumors bulging out its body. Its thin skin tore apart to reveal six other faces, all in differing states of decay. They were in the same shape as the one in its back was, except with black blood spilling out of every orifice available. Screams erupted from their mouths as well and the pungent odor of death was present in the air. 

     It was then she realized just what this creature was. Images of blood and dead bodies flashed through her mind as devastating despair filled her heart. She didn’t want to believe it, didn’t want to accept it, but it was there. The reason why those eyes looked so familiar was because… 

     “No, it can’t be… Seldanna?” The face inside the creature’s back fell silent as she turned to look at the others. “Leena, Aila, Travaran… Braern, Vaeril, and Rathal… You’re… the ones I killed?” 

     Crying replaced screaming at the mention of their names. Voices of children and adults begging for help rang in her head. Tears slid down her cheeks as the voices grew louder and louder. 

     Why were they here? Why were they dead? They didn’t deserve to die! Out of all the people that could’ve died that day, why was it them?! Why were they the ones that died and not…?! If only she could remember, if only she could’ve controlled herself back then, if only she…! 

     The creature bucked again and she was thrown several feet away. It wasn’t till she found herself unable to breathe she realized she was underwater. She had to fight the urge to attempt to swim back up. Her lungs burned from the lack of air but she could care less about that. 

     Did she really deserve to live? Did she really have the right to live after killing innocent people? Maybe it’d be better if she just died. It’d give both her victims and the lives she irrevocably destroyed some form of closure. She deserved to die a long, painful death as retribution for all the pain she caused. All she’d have to do is sink to the bottom, let out her final breath, and… 

     She sensed a presence beside her, not knowing who or what it was. Hands cupped her cheeks and she felt pressure on her lips. Her lungs filled with air as an arm wrapped around her waist began pulling her up. She didn’t need to see to know who it was once they broke the surface. 

     “Ven, you all right?” Ferreth asked. 

     She couldn’t find it within herself to care about giving him an answer. She didn’t want to say anything, do anything. All she wanted to do was crawl into a ditch and let herself wither away until she died. 

     Noting her lack of a response, he began swimming them back to land. He apologized for not coming sooner before explaining how he stopped the creature’s pursuit of her with an uppercut by way of earthen wall. He didn’t know how far it went but he hoped the distance would give them enough time to make it back to shore. His words went in one ear and out the other. 

     It wasn’t till they were on land a distant roar could be heard. Her stomach roiled once more, knowing what that meant. He muttered something she didn’t catch and hauled her over his shoulder to run. Fresh, silent tears trailed behind them as they made their escape. 

     He ran back the way she came, even climbing the hill she tumbled down with help from his powers to make it relatively easy. The whispers from before returned, louder and louder till they filled her head with incomprehensible murmurs. They served to make the dark thoughts swirling around stand out among everything else. The urge to grab her knife and stab herself with it grew. 

     A piercing scream tore through the midday sky as they settled into a small glade. She recognized it as Aila’s. Images of her small, mangled body flooded her mind and she wanted to throw up at the sight of it. She didn’t even want to think about how the others looked when she… 

     “Okay, I think we’ve lost that son of a bitch for now,” he said, checking behind him before letting out a weary sigh. “Holy shit, though, that thing is pissed.” 

     “It’s my fault…” she whispered, wrapping her arms around herself, “it’s my fault they’re like this.” 

     “What do you mean it’s your fault and who’s they?” 

     “They’re the people I killed, don’t you get it?!” Tears streamed down her face. She couldn’t be bothered to give a damn about how loud her outburst was. “Seldanna, Leena, Aila, Travaran, Braern, Vaeril, Rathal…It’s because of me they’re dead!” 

     “Ven, it was an accident. It wasn’t your---” 

     “It doesn’t matter! I killed them and nothing will ever change that!” She shuddered as she let out another sob. “God, I just wanted to prove to everyone I wasn’t a monster…” 

     All her life, she had been told she was a monster because of her existence as a Vlixeox. No matter how well she behaved, no matter how she tried to stay out of their way, it never changed. Her crime only solidified their view of her. She thought that, by atoning for her sin, she’d finally show everyone she wasn’t what they believed her to be. Now, even hell would be too good for a monster like her. 

     Hands were on her cheeks, wiping away the tears that fell. It was comforting and she wanted so badly to lean into it. But she didn’t deserve this. She didn’t deserve the love and care he’s treated her with, especially now. How could he still want to stay with her after everything that’s happened? 

     “Ven.” She didn’t want to look at him. What emotion his eyes held, she was too scared to see. “I want you to listen to me. I know that whatever I say, you may not believe me or even deny it but… I mean every word of what I say next to you. All I ask is for you to hear me out for a little bit, okay? 

     “It was **not** your fault. You were just a scared kid who didn’t want to get hurt. I know you didn’t mean to hurt them, much less kill them. It was just a tragic accident. I know that doesn’t change the fact that they’re… dead but it also doesn’t change the fact that you were protecting yourself from the people that were hurting you. They can twist what happened back then to suit what they want to believe but only you know the truth, even if you can’t remember it all. 

     “You’ve paid more than enough for this. You’re not a monster, Ven. I know it, everyone back home knows it. I just wish you’d know it, too.” He stroked her cheek as another tear fell. 

     “What if you’re wrong?” She finally worked up the courage to look him in the eyes. “What if I am one?” 

     “You’re not.” He pressed his forehead to hers. “Even so, I won’t stop trying to convince you you’re not a monster till you believe it. I don’t care if it takes me a lifetime to do it. This, I promise to you.” 

     She laid her hands on his as she cried softly. How could a monster like her be blessed with someone as wonderful as him? She’s done nothing to deserve such kindness and love from him yet he still lavishes her with it. He truly is someone she feels so, so happy to have in her life. 

     Pulling away, she began to say, “Hey, Ferret, I---” 

     A familiar roar cut her off, echoing through the trees. The creature’s monstrous body suddenly appeared behind Ferreth, ready to strike. She summoned a mass of darkness to quickly push him out of the way of the incoming attack. Just as he was shoved into safety did its bony hand snatch her up. It slammed her into the ground and the little breaths she had came out in a choke. 

     Fear seized her heart as its many eyes glared down at her. No, she couldn’t be terrified of it now. While she didn’t know how this amalgamation came to exist, she knew the people making it up needed to move on. This state of being, seven vengeful, scared entities seemingly trapped in a single deteriorating body for god knows how long, was no way to live. 

     “Why did you do this to us?” A legion of voices asked, though one in particular spoke above the rest. 

     “Trav…aran…” She squeezed the reply out as it slowly tightened its grip on her. “I know that… nothing I say will… mean anything but…” 

     She managed to keep it distracted while she sent a tendril of darkness to retrieve the knife that was still embedded in its back. The knife came out easily enough and the creature was none the wiser. She then willed the tendril to stab the blade into the fleshy part of the hand that held her. 

     It screamed in pain as it was forced to let her go. She took several breaths of air, thankful she wasn’t being crushed to death. Afterwards, she stood up and trained her glaive on the creature, now growling in retaliation. 

     “I’m sorry for killing you once,” she said, struggling to keep her voice steady, “and I’m sorry to have to do it again to end your suffering.” 

     Her eyes wandered over to where Ferreth was. Claws and scales replaced fingers and skin on his arms and slitted eyes met her gaze. That meant he was raring to fight, something she couldn’t let happen at any cost. This was her responsibility and she wasn’t about to let him take care of it for her. This was something **she** needed to do. 

     “Ferret.” She spoke slowly and tried not to make any sudden moves. “I’m gonna need your help with something. As soon as I’m done talking, I’m going to bolt back to the swamp in the hopes this thing will follow me. Give it some time and then follow us back so you can restrain them with your power. Do you understand?” 

     “Y-yeah, but---” 

     She didn’t give him time to respond as she suddenly darted to the right. The creature missed its swipe at her and she dashed past it. It gave a roar before following after her, its heavy footfalls thudding behind her. 

     A glance every so often confirmed her theory that its only target was her. Any obstacle in its way would be rendered a casualty, be it people or objects. If Ferreth did as he was told, its only concern should be the girl running away from it. 

     She reached the drop-off once more. Remembering what happened last time she came to this spot, she skidded to a stop and quickly looked around. No way could she try and jump off, it’d be too risky at this height. She found a sturdy-looking branch growing out of a willow tree ahead of her. It didn’t seem reliable but it was the best she had. Darkness coiled around the branch and she leapt from the drop-off while holding onto the makeshift vine. 

     It didn’t take long for the branch to snap from her weight. She landed on her side roughly, her hip flaring up in pain. She was just barely given enough time to react when the creature pounced on her. 

     With teeth bared for her to see, it lunged. She stuck her glaive in its mouth in an attempt to stop it from biting into her. Warm spit slid down the metal to her arms as she tried to keep her weapon inside its maw. There was no way for her to escape without risking the possibility of getting slashed by its claws. Still, if she had to, the risk would be more than worth it. 

     Then it was forcibly dragged away from her. Its claws raked through the dirt on either side of her as it struggled to stay. She crawled out from under it to see Ferreth curling hardened dirt like a corkscrew around its torso. Dirt and dust caked his scaled arms and sprinkled off the extended limbs of earth as it thrashed around. Thank god for his intervention… 

     “Ven, you all right?” he asked loudly so he could be heard over the creature’s roaring. 

     Standing up, she replied, “I’m holding up! Listen, when I tell you to, let it go.” 

     “Are you crazy?! This thing wants to kill you!” 

     “I know but it won’t come down to that. I just need to talk with them.” 

     “What if it kills you after I let it go?! I don’t want you to die!” 

     “I’ll be okay, Ferreth!” 

     He closed his eyes tightly, brows knitted in worry and mouth clenched. She knew that the very idea of gambling with her life is something he never wants to consider. Still, he needed to believe in her, if only just for this one thing. After a moment, their eyes locked and she knew she had his trust. 

     She walked over to it, a mixture of sadness, guilt, and grim acceptance filling her heart. As she stood in front of the beast, it roared and lashed out in fury. Yet she did nothing, letting it vent its rage at her. Its eyes burned with contempt while the voices shifted between cursing her existence and crying out for a savior. 

     Soon, it tired itself out. Although it no longer tried to attack her, it still growled at her when she moved closer to it. She looked into its eyes in pity, struggling to keep the tears at bay. 

     She placed a gentle hand on the bridge of its nose. Nothing she could say to them would change what happened. She dealt them a cruel fate, regardless of it ultimately being an accident. She’d do anything to rewind the clock and prevent the senseless tragedy that occurred but… That was then and this is now. 

     Stroking it in a soothing manner, she said, “I know that what I did to you all can never be taken back… and for that, I’m truly sorry. 

     “No words can come close to describing just how sorry I am. I don’t expect any of you to accept my apology and that’s okay. All I can say is, none of you deserved to die and you especially don’t deserve to be trapped in the suffering you’re all in. It should be the other way around but… life’s unfair at times.” 

     The growls stopped and the voices fell quiet. What was once malice was now sorrow as eyes stared at the girl who spoke in bittersweet comfort. She couldn’t begin to imagine how they felt but she wanted to believe they shared just an inkling of the sadness there was at the whole situation. 

     “Ferret, let them go. I think they’re okay now.” 

     He dropped his arms and the dirt around its body crumbled away. A small part of her expected them to maul her right then and there after luring her into a false sense of security. They didn’t. Instead, they laid down in front of her, their eyes solemnly closed. She continued to stroke its face all the while. 

     “You all were so kind to me back then. I didn’t understand the ways some of you had shown that at the time but I want you to know that I truly, truly appreciated it. I can only repay that with an act of kindness of my own and it’s the only thing I can give you all. It’s more like an act of mercy but still…” 

     A bitter laugh escaped from her mouth as tears slid down her cheeks. Even though what she was about to do next was right, she wished it didn’t have to be like this. If only there was some other way to do it but it wasn’t meant to be. She held them close, knowing this will be the last time she’ll ever see them again. Her heart ached yet she remained calm as she stepped away from them. 

     “May the afterlife give you a better beginning than the grisly end I forced you to meet.” 

     They bowed their head in resignation, waiting to meet their fate. Darkness wrapped around their neck before suddenly twisting to the side. Their neck snapped with a sickening crack and their body fell forward. Whatever strange power brought about their revival was gone as they withered away to dust. 

     It was only when a few specks were left she heard them. Two words that were spoken in an almost mournful tone. Words from the people she’d never see again till it was her time. 

     “We’re sorry.” 

     A gentle breeze carried the specks of dust high up into the sky until they were no longer visible. That was it. It was over. She’d cry if she had more tears to shed but she didn’t. She felt empty, hollow. Yet she also felt as if a great weight was lifted from her shoulders. Maybe it was because she faced a terrible truth head-on instead of running away or something within her finally felt settled in some way. She didn’t know which it was. 

     Her mind felt hazy. The figure of Ferreth blurred in her vision, sounds faded into the background, and her movements seemed to be half a second slow. A muffled voice was the last thing she heard before her descent into darkness.


	4. Scars of the Past Still Fester

     It was the first step she took Ferreth noticed something was off. Her eyes not wanting to focus, the sluggish way her body moved, everything in her demeanor sent him on the alert. It was only when Ven began to collapse, he realized something was very wrong.

     He caught her before her head hit the ground. Fear gripped his heart as he panicked over what to do. Was she hurt internally? Would it be safe to carry her back to Thal Esari if she was? What if she was already…? He couldn’t bear to finish the thought. His anxiety only worsened the longer time passed. 

     “Ven? Ven, come on. Wake up for me, honey, wake up.” He gently shook her in an attempt to wake her up. “Ven, please… I need you to be okay so just. Wake. Up!” 

     No response. Despite the ever so slight rise and fall of her chest, nothing would ease his worry more than seeing her violet eyes again. He cradled her close, memories of that horrible time beginning to plague his mind. 

     The sound of his mother hacking up phlegm and blood. Her once strong and robust body withering away to nothing. Her voice and smile so weak and frail. Her warm brown skin becoming pallid and sickly. His hope of her recovering from her illness slowly waning till the day she died. Him watching her die bit by bit while he could only stand there, feeling helpless to do anything. He forced back the tears that were ready to be shed, as well as the painful memories. 

     He couldn’t go through that again. He couldn’t lose another person he loved while he stood by, knowing he could’ve done something but didn’t. No. He was NOT going to let history repeat itself. Taking a deep breath, he swept an arm under her legs, picked her up, and sprinted off towards Thal Esari. 

     Back through the forest and into the field, he ran. He couldn’t stop thinking about how it was his fault she got hurt. If he just refused to listen to her, if he just brought her back by force, she would be okay. Her being pissed at him was so much better than wondering if she was alive or not. 

     Please be okay, he kept repeating in his head. It was more of a prayer than anything else. A prayer among all the what-ifs and maybes, something he desperately hoped for a god above to hear. 

     As he neared Thal Esari, his ears picked up murmurs from Ven in his arms. He looked down to see her stirring awake and his run slowed to a walk. She slowly opened her eyes, glancing around and coughing some. 

     “What…happened?” she asked, her voice hoarse. 

     “You passed out and I couldn’t get you to wake up,” he replied, anger beginning to seep into his voice, “so I’m carrying you back to Thal Esari.” 

     “...I’m sorry.” She averted her gaze. “I didn’t mean to make you worry over me.” 

     “Damn right you are!” he snapped, stopping his walk. “Do you know how scared I was when you wouldn’t wake up?! I don’t even know what the hell would’ve made you pass out like that!” 

     “Ferret---” 

     “You told me you would be okay and, me being the effing idiot I am, believed you! God, why do I even listen to you sometimes?! I thought---I thought you were…” 

     A couple tears quickly slid down his cheeks. The thought of losing her was always there but this was the closest he felt to that fear becoming reality. He never wanted to feel like this ever again. 

     “Ferreth.” Her hand caressed his cheek, wiping away another fallen tear as she tenderly smiled. “I’m okay.” 

     Her touch brought him comfort, which he gladly leaned into. If she was able to do that, she mustn’t be badly off. For someone who claimed to be bad with people, she certainly knew how to make him feel better. 

     Retracting her hand, she said, “I’m okay to walk so you can put me down, okay?” 

     “Are you sure?” he asked. “I don’t want you passing out on me again.” 

     “I’ll be fine.” 

     He carefully set her down, staying close by her side in case she wavered. She took a tentative step forward, then another and another. It was when she started to sway he walked up and caught her before she fell. 

     “I’m just a little tired,” she said drowsily. 

     “You want me to carry you so you can rest?” he asked, helping her stay up straight. 

     “No, I’ll be okay, I just--” a yawn escaped from her mouth before she could try and cover it-- “need your arm till we get there.” 

     She grabbed his arm and rested her head against it, closing her eyes. How she could stand and walk while sleeping, he’ll never know. For now, though, they needed to continue on their journey. He made sure to take it slow so as to not jolt her awake while she slept. 

     No one paid much attention to them after they passed through the gates. No one, except for a certain lackey. He felt eyes watching them but he wasn’t sure if they belonged to the same person from earlier today or yesterday. Either way, they were being stalked and their every move was being reported to Filaurel. If only he could find the bastard and order them to pass the success of their deed on to the hag… Maybe then, she’ll stop having them followed. 

     Ignoring that, he needed to search for a doctor. He doubted anyone would help him find one and he certainly didn’t want to wake Ven up to ask if she knew where one was. He was on his own. 

     After a painstakingly long time of looking, he found it. A small clinic, with faded white paint coming off in flakes and dark green window shutters, stood in front of him. Its only window was simple in only having six glass panes for people to peer through to the other side. A wooden sign hung above the door with Elvish writing carved into it. It might’ve said “Doctor” on it but his fluency with Elvin left much to be desired. Feeling there to be no other choice, he swung the door open and went in. 

     A lone elf sat at a desk, which had papers scattered everywhere. They appeared to be writing something down before lifting their head up to look at them. They stood up from their chair and came around the desk to greet them. He was able to take a better look at them once they stepped in the light pouring in from outside. 

     They were significantly shorter than him, though not to the extent Ven was. Dark brown hair tied into a long, thick braid hung over their shoulder and brown eyes hid behind silver-rimmed glasses. The stark white overcoat they wore contrasted their olive skin while showing off a slender yet lithe body. He hoped this person, whoever they were, could help Ven. 

     “I’m Dr. Sharian Elcan. What seems to be the problem?” they asked, adjusting their glasses. 

     “Well…” 

     From there, he told them of the events that occurred over the course of their trip. He had to throw in some white lies here and there so they wouldn’t get suspicious. It’d be hard to explain the existence of a chimera in the swamp, after all. Thankfully, they seemed to believe his story and directed them to the back. 

     “All right, Ven, time to wake up.” He placed his free hand on top of her head and ruffled her hair. 

     She yawned and blinked her eyes to wake up. Soon as Elcan noticed the color of her eyes, their whole personality did a 180. What was once calm and collected became agitation as they suddenly began ushering them out the door. 

     “Hey, hey, hey, what’s the big deal?!” he exclaimed, stopping in his tracks, “You just told me you could help her!” 

     “Sir, your friend is a Vlixeox. I don’t treat _them_ here,” they said with contempt in their voice. 

     “What the hell does her being a Vlixeox have to do with you helping her?!” 

     “Look, I don’t have to explain myself to you. Take her to another doctor, if you must, but I’m not treating her.” 

     “Ferret, let’s just go, okay?” Ven urged, gently tugging on his arm to leave. 

     He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. What was with this village hating Vlixeoxs for no other reason than “just because”? Ven being a Vlixeox shouldn’t be a point of contention and shouldn’t stop her from getting what she needed. Her race didn’t make her any less of a person deserving of basic decency. She may be fine with being looked down upon but he won’t let anyone treat her like that while he was around. The problem lied in trying to convince this prick to help her. 

     That was when the idea struck him. As horrible as the thought may have been, it was the only thing he could think of that would work. It’d essentially be bribing someone who clearly didn’t deserve it but… If it meant Ven would be looked at, his worries would be calmed, then so be it. 

     Letting out a disgruntled sigh, he asked, “If I give you all the money I have, would you help her?” 

     Her fingers tightened on his arm while Elcan asked incredulously, “Are you trying to bribe me?” 

     “If it means she’ll be okay, then yeah.” 

     “You’re not gonna leave until I do what you want, huh?” 

     He nodded, giving the doctor time to mull it over. He hoped the prospect of money would overrule their prejudice. Greed was a powerful motivator for getting even the most stubborn of people to do your bidding, after all. They gave them an answer a moment later. 

     “Fine… Take her to the back and I’ll look at her.” 

     Relief washed over him and he led Ven to the back of the clinic. There were five beds lined up in a row, with curtains acting as dividers for each one. A wooden cabinet filled with medical stuff stood at the western end of the room. They seemed to be the only ones here, which was good since it meant they got the doctor’s full attention. At least something was in their favor today. 

     “You didn’t have to do that,” she said, looking up at him after he helped her up onto the bed. “I’m all right.” 

     “I know I’m being a little overprotective but--” he butted his forehead against hers while stroking a thumb over her knuckles-- “I just want you to be okay. Once the doctor gives you a clean bill of health, I’ll stop acting like a mother-hen.” 

     “Don’t leave me, okay?” she whispered, her eyes pleading. 

     “I’ll be right here so don’t worry.” He squeezed her hand to comfort her and brushed his lips against her temple. 

     Elcan came in just then, holding a clipboard and pencil. They did the usual check-up stuff, like taking her pulse, checking her cognitive faculties, etc. The only thing left to do was mark the injuries she may or may not have off. When they suggested a more thorough examination, that was when hell broke loose. 

     “No---stay back. Stay away from me!” 

     “Miss, I need to make sure there aren’t any serious injuries on you.” 

     “I don’t care! I know I’m okay but I’m only here because my friend’s worried about me when he doesn’t need to be.” She turned to him, clenching his hand in hers. “Ferret, I’m fine, let’s just go.” 

     He knew why she was acting like this. Of course she’d react like a cornered animal to that seemingly benign approach. It was because of that. Letting someone see something that, not only makes you self-conscious, but serves as a reminder of the hate people have for you being different carried too much weight. No way would she want anyone to see it, least of all a complete stranger. 

     “Ven, I know it’ll be hard but please let them help you,” he begged, hoping she’d listen to him. 

     “Ferret---” 

     “I know I’m being a dick right now but they need to know what they might have to treat.” He brushed his fingers through a lock of her hair that wasn’t in the ponytail. “Do it for me?” 

     She balled her hands up into fists in her lap and stared at the ground. He felt like an utter asshole for saying that to her, knowing it’d tug at her heartstrings. He just wanted her to be okay. His worries may be completely unfounded but he’d rather be overreacting to nothing than be caught unawares by something avoidable. Moments later, she spoke, her answer shocking both him and the doctor. 

     “All right, but I want you to do it.” 

     “Uh, Ven, you do know that I have next to no medical expertise, right?” 

     “So? When has that ever stopped you? You’re the only one I can trust with this and you know I won’t take no for an answer.” 

     Well, that came back to bite him in the ass. She knew how to turn the tables on him and, even if it annoyed him at times, he loved that about her. Now, however, there was another dilemma on his hands. 

     Once her mind was set on something, it’d be impossible to change it, but he didn’t know anything about medicine and the like. Then again---as she said---when has his lack of knowledge on something ever stopped him? The problem was, if he missed something and it turned out to be serious… But she seemed fine right now. He could only hope she just had cuts and scrapes. 

     One defeated look from him was all it took for Elcan to know. It was futile to argue against it and they acquiesced. No matter their concerns, Ven would just dig in her heels till they eventually gave in. 

     Elcan walked over to the cabinet and took several things out. They placed two trays, washcloths, bandages, and a vial of clear liquid on the counter below. Was all that really necessary just for some cuts, he wondered. They came back and pulled him aside to tell him what he needed to do. 

     First was to fill the trays up with water and soak the washcloths in them for a few minutes. Then clean the blood and dirt off the open cuts and scrapes. After that, pour some of the liquid in the vial on the washcloths to disinfect the wounds. Lastly, only use the bandages on the ones he felt were worser off than the others. It wasn’t perfect but it’d have to do. 

     They then headed back to the reception area, leaving the two of them alone. Neither spoke, letting silence envelop the entire room. Orange light peeked in from the front of the clinic, filling in the space between them. The quiet soon turned into tension, with the looming realization of what was about to come next hanging above them. He certainly wasn’t looking forward to it. 

     The moment of truth. He never thought he’d actually see the scars she had told him about many times before. He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t imagined them and it was more out of a sick sense of curiosity than anything. It’s only because of his urging he was able to see them today. Guilt gnawed at his heart, knowing he was forcing her to do something she wasn’t entirely comfortable doing. This moment should’ve come on her own time, no matter if she trusted him. 

     “So…” He let out a shaky breath, attempting to calm his nerves. “You wanna just get… _that_ over with?” 

     “Can you…promise me you won’t say anything about them when you see them? I know they won’t be nice to look at and…I’d just appreciate it if you didn’t say anything.” 

     “I know you’re already super nervous about me seeing them so I won’t say anything. I promise.” 

     He swore he heard her sigh in relief. Not surprising, since this was probably her first time showing her back to anyone, which had to carry fear he’s never experienced before. If he had to make a promise to her to ease her anxiety just a tiny bit, he’d gladly do it. 

     Giving her time to mentally prepare herself, he went over to the cabinet and started doing the tasks Elcan had given him to do. He placed the trays under the faucet and filled them to the brim. With washcloths now soaked, he put everything on a nearby medical cart and wheeled it over to Ven’s bed. He shut his eyes tight upon arriving, in case he walked in on her undressing. 

     “I think…I’m ready,” she said, sounding unsure. 

     “You sure?” 

     “Not really but I don’t think I’ll ever be.” 

     He took a deep breath, attempting to calm his nerves once more. He felt nervous and afraid yet he knew there was no way out of this. Was he really about to see them? The many physical reminders of the pain she suffered? His heart raced as the large bundle of nerves he had began to unravel. No time to waste, he just had to do it and get it over with. Steeling himself, he opened his eyes. 

     Scars upon scars were layered over each other on her small back. Many of them curled around to her chest or over her shoulders and left dark mars on her pale skin. Others were small enough to only fade over time. It was easy to tell she struggled to turn away from the whip as it struck her, as if they held her down while they doled out the abuse disguised as “punishment”. Seeing these horrific scars, knowing they were inflicted upon her as a child, rendered him speechless. 

     He felt angered, outraged at this. How could anyone think this kind of torture was okay to do to a child? No matter how much they want to try and pass this off as punishment, it was abuse. Cruel, sadistic abuse given to an innocent girl with the unlucky fortune of being born a Vlixeox. She didn’t deserve to be mutilated in public for something as petty as stealing. No one deserved something like that, period. 

     There were so many things he wanted to say to her. How they weren’t in the right for doing that to her, why she didn’t deserve the shit they heaped on to her. Just anything to convince her she did nothing wrong and wasn’t the monster they or even she herself claimed to be. But he doesn’t. He made a promise to her and he planned to uphold that promise. 

     Scattered across her back were small red scrapes and patches of smeared dirt. He brought the medical cart closer, never taking his eyes off her back. The scars looked even worse up close than they did at first glance. 

     “Well, I see some stuff that needs to be cleaned so…” he said, subtly warning her of what was to come. 

     She braced herself by taking in a deep breath. He dabbed at a bloody scrape on her left shoulder with the wet washcloth. She let out a whimper as soon as the cold water touched her, her hands squeezing the side of the bed to death. Despite trying his best to be as gentle as possible, his touch was still enough for her to flinch from. Her scars ran deeper beneath the surface, he knew. 

     “Sorry.” 

     “It’s okay. I’m just not used to…being touched there. It feels weird.” 

     “I’ll try to take it slow and be gentle, okay?” 

     Silence fell between them once more. Instead of it being the uncomfortable quiet of before, it was more of an intimate quiet. He gently wiped the dirt and blood off her back and soaked the dirty washcloth in one of the trays. She didn’t flinch as much as she grew comfortable with the cold yet light touches to her scrapes. It was only when he dabbed at them with the disinfectant she recoiled away, though that was more from the stinging than anything else. 

     “All right, that’s your back done,” he said, wringing the dirty washcloth. “Now we can move on to the others.” 

     Putting her shirt back on, she asked, “Is it okay if…I talk for a little bit?” 

     “Yeah, I’ll just keep doing what I’ve been doing while you talk,” he replied. The day she’s had, she was probably wanting to vent to him. 

     “Okay…” He began washing the dirt and blood off her arms. “I don’t know if they’re the only ones that died but those names I yelled at you earlier? They were people I knew from when I was a kid. 

     “Leena, Aila, and Travaran were a group of kids that’d play by the plaza everyday. Aila used to carry these large books around with her to read and I think Travaran and Leena were brother and sister. I always wanted to ask if I could play with them but I was too scared to really do it since I knew the adults wouldn’t allow it. I think Leena would try to come near me sometimes but she was probably scared of me like everyone else was. 

     “Braern was a fruit vendor over at the marketplace. I loved eating the apples he’d lay out sometimes.” He disinfected the cuts on her arms. “I think he felt sorry for me because there were times he’d catch me stealing from him and he would just let me go without saying a word. I appreciated that.” 

     She held out her legs, continuing, “Vaeril was a vagrant but he used to be a great storyteller. He’d weave the most wonderful stories about adventurers going on these grand quests and people from all over the village would gather around just to listen. I was always so fascinated with them and yearned to hear more. He never said anything bad to me but if he ever hated me, he never let it show. 

     “Rathal was a person I didn’t know much about. I guess you could say I knew more about their dog than them.” She let out a short laugh as he cleaned and disinfected her legs. “His name was Lucky and he was this big, fluffy dog that always knocked me down to the ground whenever we played together. Rathal didn’t seem to mind, though they probably got annoyed with how loud I was at times. I hope someone took care of Lucky after…they died. 

     “Seldanna…was the only kind one.” She paused, gripping the hem of her shirt tightly as he soaked both the dirtied washcloths in the trays. “She never hurt me or said horrible things to me. She’s why I love flowers so much, because she’d always tell me what each one was and let me see them up close. I don’t know why she was so nice to me but I’m happy she was.” 

     She muttered out an apology as she wiped away unshed tears. Hearing her talk about the people that died made him realize just how tragic this all was. She never wanted to hurt anyone, much less kill them. She just wanted to stop her tormentors from whipping her again. They meant so much to her, even if she didn’t understand the small acts of kindness they did for her back then. Even if Filaurel didn’t grant her forgiveness at the end of all this, it was clear they forgave her. 

     Drawing her knees up to her chest, she continued on, “I know that me telling you all this ultimately doesn’t mean much but… To me, these people mattered and they deserve to be remembered as they lived, not as they died. They deserve to have their tales told, even if it’s by someone who only knew them for a few years. It seems ridiculous that _I’m_ saying this, I know, but… It’s stupid, isn’t it?” 

     “No, it’s…” he paused, racking his mind for the right words to say, “it’s---good that you think that. I mean, in a way, they live on through you and the other people they touched in their lives. They may not be _here_ anymore but that doesn’t mean they’re gone forever. I like to think that, so long as they’re remembered and the memories you and others have of them are shared, they’re not truly gone. Does that make any sense?” 

     “Yeah,” she replied, giving an emphatic nod. “I’ll keep them alive in my memory. Until my time comes and I meet them again, that’ll be all I can do. I hope they’ll be okay with that.” 

     A soft smile illuminated her face, warming his heart. He wasn’t a philosophical person by any means but he believed in what he said. No one’s truly dead until they’re irrevocably forgotten. He learned that from his mother beyond her grave and he hoped people would do the same for him when his time came to pass. 

     “That sounded like something Eric would say,” she said, sliding off the bed with his help. 

     “Being wise at times is something he and mom have in common,” he replied. “’Cept he’s a lot more clumsy about it.” 

     She let out a small giggle as they walked out the clinic. Elcan didn’t bother acknowledging their departure, instead continuing where they left off. He placed a small pouch on the counter before going out the door. He planned on sticking to his word, even if they hadn’t really treated Ven. At least it meant the good doctor now owed them a favor if they needed it. 

     As they walked back to the house, he found himself staring at her back. The image of her scars still lingered in his mind. It was easier to imagine what they looked like because he didn’t have anything to go off of back then. Now he knew and they were more horrific than he’d ever thought them to be. He only knew because she might’ve been forced to show him, regardless of whether or not she ever planned on it, which made this even worse. Making her reveal something so personal where she’s at her most vulnerable wasn’t fair. While it ultimately was still her choice, it should’ve been under better circumstances. He felt like an utter asshole. 

     That was when he decided. If her scars had to be shown to him, he’d make it even by showing her his. She had the benefit of hers being well-hidden while his were clear for the whole world to see where they were. It’d be easy to assume the bandages he wore were a fashion statement when their true purpose was the complete opposite. A dull ache began to emanate from his forearms as he tried to ward off the memories of that day. 

     Once they came inside, Ven flopped onto the couch. She was probably exhausted after the events of today and wanted nothing more than to sleep. With shaky hands, he took off his gloves and started undoing his bandages. No one outside of his family had seen the aftermath of the accident so this was a first for him. No going back, he repeated to himself as the layers on his fingers had unraveled. 

     “Hey, Ven, before you drift off to dreamland, you mind giving me a few minutes? I wanna show you something.” 

     She sat up, brushing away the hair that fell in her face. More layers had been shed, both wrappings spiraling down to the ground. He kept his arms hidden from sight as he sat on the table across from her. 

     “It isn’t fair I saw your scars when you haven’t seen mine. This is so we’re even.” 

     The last of the bandages fell away and brought his arms out from behind him. Her eyes widened in shock at the horrid sight. Brown and gray stones of wildly differing sizes appeared to be embedded in his arms down to his fingers. Some were like pebbles while others were like rocks. Dried blood stuck around the edges of where they cut into him, no matter how much he’d clean them. The skin on his arms was a pale brown compared to the rest of his body, due to how much he kept them under wraps. Despite how bad it looked, this could never measure up to hers. Still, the feeling of hiding something you didn’t want others to see under any circumstances was all too familiar to him. 

     A hand covering her mouth, she asked, “H-how did this happen?” 

     “You remember when I said me and my brother would compete with each other when we were kids?” She nodded. “Let’s just say I got cocky and did something stupid in an attempt to win against him. Next thing I know, I’ve got these rocks in my arms.” 

     “Is there a way to fix this?” 

     “Hell if I know. These have been with me for over a decade and a half at this point and are probably staying with me for the rest of my life.” 

     “Do they hurt?” 

     “Eh, not really. I’ve gotten used to the pain over the years and they only really hurt if I’m not careful with the cleaning.” 

     She reached a hand out as if to touch them but stopped. If she was worried about hurting him by doing that, there wasn’t a need to. Hell, he was actually surprised at her eagerness. 

     “You can touch them, if you want,” he said, holding his arm out to her. “It’s not gonna hurt me any.” 

     Taking a glove off, she hesitantly touched a stone. Although the pain hadn’t bothered him, they were still sensitive enough to make him flinch. She ran her fingers across both his arms, as if checking to see if they felt the same. She seemed almost fascinated by this, doing everything short of poking and prodding him. This couldn’t be a pleasant experience for her but she showed no sign of being grossed out. 

     “Ferret, I know you said I could lean on you whenever I needed it and--” she took both his hands into hers-- “I want you to know that you can do the same to me.” 

     “Ven---” 

     “You can lean on me the same way I do on you. I know I can’t do much other than listen but I want to be there for you like you are for me. You’re my friend, Ferret, so please know that you can lean on me whenever you need it, okay?” 

     He let out a snort and laughed. This was typical Ven fashion, being incredibly kind to someone who’s done nothing to deserve it. Whether or not he treated her with basic decency or his nonexistent self-worth, there’s no way he earned it. He didn’t object to it, though, knowing her vehement denial of things he knew to be true. 

     “Jeez…” He leaned forward, touching their foreheads together. “What did I ever do to deserve you?” 

     Why would she want to stay with him? He wasn’t special. He was just a common Earth Dradnach with no outstanding skills or qualities. He was always second-best to Kandorinth and everyone considered him a disappointment. No matter how hard he tried, no matter how much he trained, he could never live up to their expectations. Someone as extraordinary and wonderful as her shouldn’t want to stay with someone as ordinary and worthless as him. 

     Yet, for some unimaginable reason, she did. She wanted to be with him, regardless of how inferior he believed himself to be. She didn’t care if he was a dime a dozen amid a class of Dradnach. She liked him for who he was and saw the worth he so desperately wanted to believe he had. There was nothing he could give her that even came close to everything she’s given him. 

     She pulled away and stood up to sit at his right. She took off her other glove, revealing her injured hand from when she cut herself earlier today. The bandage he wrapped was still there, a dark red stain right where her palm was. He wondered what she was doing. 

     “Hey, Ferret?” She intertwined her fingers with his and rested her head on his shoulder. “I’m really happy to have you in my life.” 

     All coherent thought was just thrown out the window. He knew he had to be blushing while a part of him, deep down, was screaming. He was used to women being forward with him and having casual flings with them. It was completely different when the woman he’s in love with was being this **bold** with him. Just keep calm, he repeated to himself as he resisted the urge to hyperventilate. 

     “I’m truly blessed to have a person as wonderful as you in my life. You treat me with such love and kindness and I don’t deserve any of it. You make me so, so happy. As selfish as this is, is it okay if you stay by my side just a little while longer?” 

     Lacing his fingers with hers while resting his head atop hers, he replied, “Only if it’s okay if you stay by mine a while longer as well.” 

     She squeezed his hand, giving him his answer. They stayed like that for a time, basking in each others’ warmth. He didn’t doubt she loved him, though he knew it wasn’t in the sense his love was. That was okay. They didn’t need to love the same way to want to be with each other. They had something that didn’t need to be defined because it was what it was. A lifetime relationship between two people, whether they were friends, lovers, or something in-between. 

     Her hand went slack in his and he looked down to see her sleeping. The poor girl must’ve been so tired yet she still stayed up as long as she could. He smiled softly as he tenderly brushed away strands of hair tickling her face. Now was the time to put her to bed and end today on a high note. 

     Carefully picking her up, he carried her to her room. This was his first time going in there and it was dark. The only source of light came from the moonlight peeking through the vines from the window just above the bed. From what he could see, the glass was cracked, as if rocks had been thrown at it, and the bed was small with light blue sheets. She probably spent the nights of her childhood in here as well, which made him grimly wonder about the broken window. 

     Disregarding that, he gently laid her on the bed so as to not wake her up. He took her boots off and placed them near the end of the bed. He didn’t dare unstring her cloak or let her hair down; that might’ve been pushing his boundaries. He pulled the thin blanket laying by the side of the bed over her body. Before he left the room, he let his eyes linger on her sleeping form as he whispered something into the air. 

     “May you have a peaceful rest and sweet dreams, Ven.” 

     A wave of exhaustion swept over him as he collapsed on the couch. God, today was one hell of a fucking day, he thought bitterly. He couldn’t wait for their trip in this hellhole to just end already. If it weren’t for him resigning to Ven’s inexplicable need to be here despite her fear, he would’ve taken her back home on the first day. At lease she wouldn’t be reliving her childhood trauma. 

     This trip had done nothing but hurt Ven so far. Meeting the bitch responsible for all the pain she endured and getting berated left and right sucked, to say the least. Then today managed to one-up that by forcing her to confront the vengeful spirits of the people she accidentally killed in the form of a fucked up chimera, of all things. If only they could leave sooner rather than later… 

     What the hell even was that thing, anyway? That thing couldn’t be natural, someone had to have used a power of some kind to revive the dead. Vlixeoxs and Sealyphs were the only races capable of that but that’s searching for a needle in a haystack. No way was it coincidence they were sent to kill that creature. He knew exactly who was to blame and her motive for doing so. 

     For now, however, they could take it easy for a little bit. Their task was complete and they still had two days left on their time limit. Tomorrow was a new day, a day they can kick back, relax, and do whatever they wanted. 

     If what she went through today didn’t earn her her forgiveness, nothing would. She’s shown more remorse for her “crime” than most others would. Maybe she’d finally forgive herself if Filaurel gave her that. Still, knowing the kind of person she was, he had a feeling she’d pull the rug out from underneath her and refuse to pardon her. 

     Well, whatever happens, he’ll be there for her, for better and for worse.


	5. In Living Memory

     The chorus of birds chirping outside alerted Ven to the time. Sunlight shone in from the window as she fell back on the bed with a thump. She set her mother’s journal aside and rubbed her eyes to rid herself of the drowsiness she felt. Did she really spend the rest of the night reading?

     A yawn escaped from her mouth before she could try and stop it. She was tired yet she didn’t dare go to sleep. Not after what her nightmares decided to bring her the night before… 

     They were terrifying at first but they became normal for her over time. As normal as being forced to relive your worst memories was, at any rate. She stopped being scared of them a long time ago. Last night, however, was different. 

     She didn’t even want to remember that dream, it was so horrible. Hearing their screams of agony while their bodies contorted in pain… When would life cease heaping its torment on her? The best she could do was bury the images of that nightmare deep, deep down and try not to think about it. 

     With a knock at her door came a voice asking, “Ven, you awake?” 

     Sitting back up, she replied with “Yeah, I’m awake,” and sent a tendril of darkness to open the door. 

     She noticed the fresh bandages on Ferreth’s arms upon his entering. He must’ve cleaned and dressed them before coming here. Hopefully, he didn’t have too much trouble with doing that. If she had known, she would’ve helped him since she wanted to repay him for all he had done for her yesterday. 

     Kneeling down beside the bed, he asked, “You doing okay after yesterday?” 

     “Yeah, I’m just--” Another yawn slipped out before she continued-- “a little tired, is all.” 

     “Any nightmares?” 

     “No more than usual.” 

     She hated lying to him. Despite her saying she’d tell him if they got worse, she didn’t want to give him yet another thing to worry about. His crying over her yesterday freaked her out and she didn’t want that to happen again. Maybe, just maybe, the nightmare turned out to be a one time thing, a fluke. 

     “Well, we won’t need to report back to Filaurel till tomorrow so--” he stood up, stretching out his arms and back-- “anything you wanted to do today?” 

     “If it’s okay with you, there _is_ something I wanted to do sometime soon.” She grabbed the journal, opened it up to a specific page, and handed it over for him to read. 

     On the page was an entry Thessalia wrote about someone named Nithenoel. They apparently became fast friends after she found herself captivated by the “beautiful yet mysterious traveler”. She was naturally curious about this woman since it marked the first time her mother seemed so enamored with someone. If she still lived in Thal Esari, she was her best lead in knowing what Thessalia was personally like. 

     “So you wanna check to see if this Nithenoel still lives in town, right?” he asked, giving the journal back to her. 

     “Yeah,” she replied, “I feel like this’ll be the closest I’ll ever get to finding someone connected to Thessalia and I can’t let it slip by. Is it okay if we do this? I know it may take the whole day and it may not be fun but---” 

     “Ven, it’s okay, we can do this,” he interrupted, stopping her from rambling. “We can go right now, if you want.” 

     Excited, she said happily, “Yes, let’s go right now!” 

     She leapt off the bed, grabbing his hand and dragging him along. She couldn’t help smiling as she bounded towards the marketplace with Ferreth in tow. This was her only chance and she wasn’t going to let it pass her by. She might’ve been setting herself up for failure but the slimmest lead was better than none. 

     “Ven, slow down!” he called out from behind her. “We have all day, we can take our time!” 

     Stopping just yards away from the bustling marketplace, she turned around and said, “Ferret, I wanna find her as soon as I can! If we don’t find her today, then I’ll be leaving here with nothing but Thessalia’s journal and I’m already halfway done with it!” 

     “You know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this excited before.” 

     “I…I know it’s weird to see me like this but this is important to me. I just don’t want to leave with any regrets.” 

     “I know, I know. It’s kinda adorable seeing you like this, actually.” 

     Blood rushing up to her cheeks, she muttered, “That’s ‘cuz you love me, no matter what mood I’m in…” 

     “Yeah, and? It’s nice seeing you smile so freely and I wish it happened more often because you have a beautiful smile.” 

     Her blush deepening, she drew her hood up and suggested to him, “Let’s just start asking around, yeah?” 

     He let out a laugh as he went on ahead of her. It wasn’t him complimenting her that made her feel flustered. She just felt as if she wasn’t worthy of any praise, especially if she believed it wasn’t earned. 

     The marketplace was as busy as ever today. Stalls of all sorts were open and ready for business, selling food, books, worn out toys, knickknacks, etc. It was so easy to get lost amidst all the shopping back then. She could still remember all the little nooks and crannies she’d hide in, away from wandering eyes. She hoped this place was as good at providing information as it was at hiding spots. 

     Unfortunately, fate decided to deal them a bad hand. Every person they asked either ran away at the sight of her or brushed them off with little heed. She almost forgot how loathed Vlixeoxs were outside of Aurora Zenith. How was she supposed to find Nithenoel if people wouldn’t even give her the time of day? 

     They decided to take a break after a couple hours of searching. Having to walk around with her hopes getting dashed more and more was taking its toll on her. They sat on a nearby bench a little ways westward from the marketplace’s center. 

     “This sucks,” she grumbled. “All I’m trying to do is find Nithenoel and I can’t get an answer from anyone because I’m a Vlixeox!” 

     Letting out a sigh, he replied, “It’d be okay if they just told us they didn’t know her. It’d be a crappy answer but at least we wouldn’t be ignored.” 

     “It’s not fair! I didn’t ask to be born this way! Why do I have to suffer when I didn’t ask to be a Vlixeox?!” She kicked a rock sitting in front of her several feet away. “I didn’t ask to be like this…” 

     It was rare for her to be angry. She was used to being treated as less than a person, as something to be feared. It was only recently she began experiencing kindness and gentleness, things she never felt as a child. She did nothing to earn those yet they were given to her like presents. Why was it, then, she had to accept the hate and scorn imposed upon her when she had done nothing wrong? 

     She looked down at her hand, wanting to summon a little globule of darkness but knowing she couldn’t. It’d be putting her life in danger if she did that and she couldn’t risk being thrown out of Thal Esari. It wasn’t her fault for being a Vlixeox. If people knew that, then why would they shame her for just existing? 

     “Hey, hey, hey,” he whispered, wrapping an arm around her shoulders to bring her closer, “there’s nothing wrong with being a Vlixeox. It’s just a part of who you are and I, as well as many others, love you, no matter what you are. You know that, right?” 

     Gently grabbing the hand on her shoulder, she replied glumly, “I know. I just wish others could know that, too.” 

     “Hey, listen.” He retracted his arm. “I’ll go get us something to eat. You probably haven’t eaten anything today, have you?” 

     Her stomach growled as if on cue and she let out a small giggle. “Yeah, I guess I was in a bit of a rush, huh?” 

     “It’s fine. You want something sweet?” 

     “Please.” 

     He laughed and said he’d be right back, walking off. The small smile she gave him disappeared once he was out of view. Now it was time to play the waiting game and hope to god no one would bother her. 

     She leaned back on the bench, staring up at the tree looming above her. Early afternoon sun pierced the thick canopy of leaves, which were rustling from a wayward breeze. She remembered being able to climb all the way up the tree and staying there for hours on end, whether it be out of hiding from her pursuers or wanting to watch the crowd go about their day-to-day lives. It was there she wished she wasn’t an outsider, being forced to want what she could never have. 

     Reminiscing over memories was the only thing she could do to pass the time. Playing around with her power was out of the question. There _was_ Thessalia’s journal but she stopped reading after a certain point last night. It didn’t feel right continuing on without knowing everything. 

     This was something she couldn’t even tell Ferreth about. She couldn’t think of a feasible way of bringing a matter like _that_ up. How could she, when he had a mother who wanted him? A mother that wouldn’t be disgusted with him or scared of him? A mother that loved him unconditionally, unlike hers? She was living, breathing proof of Thessalia’s nightmare come to life. A child that served as an eternal reminder of the night she was forever changed from. 

     What was she supposed to think about all this? How was she to feel about this revelation? What would her mother be like if she lived? Would her relationship with her have been good or bad? So many questions swam around in her head and she wasn’t sure she’d ever know the answers to them. What was she to do? 

     “Excuse me, miss.” A soft, warm voice broke through her reverie. “May I sit here?” 

     She looked down to see an older Elvin woman standing in front of her. She seemed to be a foot or so taller than her, her body as plump as a ripened apple. Rich burgundy hair was tied into four loose braids on both sides of her body. Her eyes were the color of toasted pecans, complementing her olive skin. She wore a simple sun hat and a beautiful, vibrant orange and red dress. Whoever this woman was, she was somewhat wonder-struck at her beauty. 

     Remembering her question, she quickly nodded her head and scooted over. The woman sat beside her, setting down an unseen basket. Maybe she could ask her about Nithenoel… 

     “Excuse me, um…” She paused, searching for the right words to say as the woman turned towards her, “sorry to bother you but I wanted to know if you knew anything about a woman named Nithenoel.” 

     “Oh, you’re not bothering me.” She smiled warmly at her. “To answer your question, though, my name’s Nithenoel.” 

     Her heart skipped a beat. Could the person sitting next to her really be the elusive woman Thessalia mentioned in her journal? She needed to ask more questions, she couldn’t just leave it there. 

     “Okay, then did you, uh, know someone named Thessalia 20-some years ago?” 

     “Oh yes. We used to be friends, she and I. Why do you ask?” 

     “Okay, well, you may not believe me when I say this, but…I’m her daughter.” 

     Silence fell between the two of them. She waited to see what kind of reaction Nithenoel would show. Would she be mad, upset? Would she be in denial? The only proof she had of being Thessalia’s daughter was the possession of her journal and the ring she wore around her neck. The lull lasted for what seemed like an eternity before she spoke again. 

     “Well, you’re right, I don’t believe you. I was told her child died alongside her.” 

     Confused, she replied with, “I don’t know who told you that but her child’s alive and it’s me.” 

     “You’re going to have to show me some proof to back up your claim because this isn’t what I’d call a funny joke.” 

     “Here--” she took out the journal and handed it to her-- “take a look at this and tell me if you recognize the handwriting.” 

     She took it with hesitant hands and a look of skepticism. She flipped through the pages, scrutinizing them while throwing glances her way every so often. Realization flickered across her face once she reached a certain page. 

     “If it helps any--” She loosened the string around her neck and held the amethyst ring out to her-- “here’s the ring she might’ve worn back then.” 

     Gasping, she took the ring and, with tears spilling over, said in a thick voice, “Oh my god, it’s her ring. Even has the inscription and everything…” 

     They were that close for her to know what was on the ring? On the inside of the band was a small inscription that, when translated, said “To my precious daughter”. It wasn’t possible for it to have been addressed to her so she figured it was a gift from Thessalia’s parents that she wore up to her death. 

     “Oh god…” Nithenoel threw her arms around her and brought her in for a tight hug. “You really are her daughter.” 

     She could barely breathe, her face buried in the older woman’s chest as her ribs felt like they could break at any second. Despite her blushing out of embarrassment, being hugged like this was nice. It gave her a warm and fuzzy feeling that was tenderly wrapped around her heart. It was a good feeling to have. 

     Ferreth came back not much later, holding what seemed to be two freshly baked pastries in his hand and looking absolutely baffled at the scene before him. This had to be the strangest thing to see to anyone just passing by. As nice as it felt, she needed to get out of this hug. 

     “Um, could you let go of me, please?” she asked, tapping her arm. 

     “Oh!” She let go of her, wiping away the unshed tears in her eyes. “I’m sorry, I got a little emotional there, huh?” 

     She placed a hand on her chest, feeling the rise and fall of it in time with her breathing. It wouldn’t do her any good if she suffocated. Ferreth gave her one of the pastries, a simple danish slathered in cream. It was strawberry flavored and she had to resist the urge to squeal in delight from the taste. 

     “Sorry for taking so long, uh…” He turned towards her to whisper in her ear. “What happened while I was gone?” 

     Swallowing the piece of danish, she replied excitedly, “Right! Ferret, this is Nithenoel and miss Nithenoel, this is my friend, Ferret.” 

     “It’s Ferreth but she likes to call me Ferret,” he corrected. She pouted; it wasn’t her fault he mumbled his name to her when they first met. 

     “Oh my, you’re certainly a handsome man,” she said, almost fawning over him. “If you were an older woman, I’d snatch you right up!” 

     Now it was his turn to blush and be flustered. She took another bite out of her danish as she watched him sputter out nonsense and her laughing heartily. It was cute seeing him try to regain his composure after getting a taste of his own medicine. She tried to cover up the small giggles bubbling out of her mouth. 

     “Oh, I never got your name, dear,” Nithenoel said, looking to her. 

     “It’s Venlithea,” she replied, her mouth half-full of food. 

     “Ah… What a beautiful name.” She had a wistful look in her eyes, though she didn’t know the reason why. 

     “So, what was Thessalia---my mother---like back then? There’s so much I’ve been wanting to know and…” 

     “We’ll talk more on the way over to my house.” 

     The three of them started their way up to the northwestern part of town. As they walked, Nithenoel told them all about Thessalia and what she was like during the time she knew her. She was completely taken in by her stories, even if some of them were kinda embarrassing to listen to. 

     Thessalia, or Thessy as she liked to call her, was quite the free spirit. If she wanted something done, it had to be her way or the highway. She was incredibly stubborn but passionate and threw zest into everything she did. This bled into her love life as well, to the point she had a slew of casual relationships. Sounded awfully familiar, if a certain dragon had anything to say about it… 

     However, Nithenoel also confirmed her suspicions about her conception. It wasn’t a surprise to her but it still felt unreal. Even before reading her journal, she figured she came into the world under those circumstances when she was old enough to understand them. Who would have a Vlixeox willingly? 

     “She was…?” she asked, not wanting to say the word out loud. 

     “Oh, yes. Thessy was never the same after that night…” She suddenly perked up, as if forcing herself to not dwell on the subject. “Oh, here we are!” 

     They had arrived at their destination. It was a quaint little house with a white picket fence around the front yard and a cobblestone pathway to the door. The mismatch of wood and stone had a rainbow of paint splatters all across it, which Nithenoel described as “a tribute to the woman discord loved”. Two flowerbed shelves hung on both sides of the door, filled with lively yellow tulips and daffodils. What she’d seen so far fit rather nicely for her. 

     The inside had the same colorful appearance the outside had. A myriad of blue, purple, and red were painted alongside faded yellow stone walls as sunlight filtered through baby blue translucent curtains. Simple wooden floors creaked under their every step as they walked to the table in the center of the kitchen. 

     An orange and pink checkered cloth covered the table and draped to just above the floor. A turquoise vase sat in the middle, holding yellow tulips and daffodils inside. Everything seemed so full of life and vivid yet… Despite its glamour, she sensed the lack of life behind it. 

     She and Ferreth sat down while Nithenoel decided to fix up tea for them. She threw out the danish she’d been eating on the way over in the trashcan. Having that kind of bombshell dropped on her made her lose her appetite. 

     She needed time to think and sort out her thoughts. The only reason she was here, here in this world, was because a Sealyph raped her mother. If it weren’t for that, would she even still exist? Did she want to live if it came at the cost of Thessalia’s life? Did she even deserve to live? This was just too much to think about and digest, especially in the matter of hours. 

     “What…happened to her after that?” she asked, her hands clasped together on the table with her thumb rubbing the other. 

     “Ven, you sure you wanna know?” Ferreth asked beside her over the whistle of the kettle. “It may not be…you know, pleasant to listen to.” 

     “Your friend’s right, hon.” The sounds of clinking glass and tea being poured into the cups came from behind her. “It’s not something I think she’d want you to hear.” 

     As she was setting down the saucers, she looked up into her eyes pleadingly and begged, “Please. I can take it. I wanna know _everything_ about her, even the bad stuff.” 

     “...Thessy changed after that night.” Nithenoel placed the piping hot cups on each of the saucers and sat down in front of them. “She was no longer the outgoing, energetic girl I knew. She became a shut-in and lost most, if not all, of her friends except for me. There were nights she begged me to stay with her because she didn’t feel safe being home alone and she clung to me whenever she could. It was awful, seeing her so meek and scared but there was nothing I could do to change that.” 

     “How did she react when she found out she had gotten pregnant?” 

     “Oh, she was terrified. I came over to check on her the day she found out and she was just hysterical. She was crying and hyperventilating and it was…bad. It took me a while to calm her down and find out why she was like that. Your mother was young when she got pregnant and I think that was part of why she was so freaked out that day.” 

     “How old was she?” She took a sip of her tea. It tasted rich yet bitter. 

     “I think a couple years older than you’d be now, actually.” 

     Her heart dropped into her stomach upon hearing that. She was **that** young when she died? Would that mean, if history decided to repeat itself, she’d have a child in a couple years time? She’s only had months to really and truly live her life, no way could she handle a kid if that happened. She’d probably screw them up for life and that was too much responsibility for her to have now. 

     “Excuse me for butting in but if Thessalia didn’t want Ven, why did she have her, then?” Ferreth asked. 

     She was about to scold him when Nithenoel spoke up, “She was ashamed, I think. After the news of what happened to her spread, everyone began to treat her differently. They’d act nice and concerned around me but I’d see them gossip about her behind her back. I think they thought she deserved it for being ‘loose’ as they put it. They dropped that nice act when they found out she was pregnant. I was the only one on her side through everything.” 

     “So she was screwed either way, then. Sounds about right…” he grumbled, taking a sip of his tea. 

     “Do you know what she was planning on doing with me? Did she want to raise me or give me away?” 

     “That’s…a hard question to answer.” She took a big gulp of tea. “I didn’t know what she was going to do. But I did make it clear to her that it was her choice and that I would support her no matter what she chose. If she wanted to raise you, I would’ve stepped in and helped her out, be your second mother essentially. If she wanted to give you away, then we would’ve done our best to find you a good family. All I know is that she cared enough about you to want what was best for you.” 

     Cared enough about her to want what was best for her… She had no reason to but she still thought about her future and what her best interests were. She was happy to know her mother had a shred of love for her. 

     “Were you in love with Thessalia, miss Nithenoel?” 

     “Oh dear…” Her cheeks had a light pink blush dusted on them. “I mean, I loved her but I don’t know if I _loved_ her. We fooled around a couple times but we never went beyond that. I think she wanted us to be more than…whatever we were but she probably didn’t want to be in any relationship after what happened. Even if she still wanted to be in one with me, it wouldn’t have felt right and it’d just be a mess. I think…if we had more time together and our feelings grew into something more, then…it might’ve worked.” 

     She smiled softly as her eyes wandered over to Ferreth. It was nice to know her mother had someone there for her during her time of crisis as well. Someone that loved her and cared about her, was her rock through the bad times. They were lucky to have such beloved friends like Nithenoel and Ferreth. 

     “It sounds like you two were good friends but--” he crossed his arms on the table and leaned over the table-- “something happened. You weren’t here during Ven’s childhood so where were you?” 

     She let out a heavy sigh and crossed her arms. “…We had a fight, shortly before Thea was born, I think. I can’t remember what we were fighting about, it was so long ago, but we said some awful, awful things to each other. I left Thal Esari the morning after and it took me 9 years to come back. I didn’t even know she died till I asked around and people told me she… I never got to apologize to her.” 

     Unseen tears slid down her cheeks. She quickly wiped them away and got up to look for tissues, apologizing for crying all the while. It was easy to see the guilt she felt for not making amends and never being able to. 

     She stood up and tentatively walked over to Nithenoel. What could she say to comfort her in this moment? She wasn’t good at these sorts of things but this was something she felt only she could do. Just say what came to mind and be gentle about it, she steeled herself. 

     “You know, if it helps any…” she paused, taking a step closer, “I think she forgave you.” 

     A moment of silence felt like an eternity as she waited for a response. The older woman then smiled warmly at her through her tears. She cupped her cheek before wrapping her arms around her tightly for a hug. It surprised her but she slowly hugged her back, breathing in the scent of honey. 

     “I hope so, too…” she whispered in her ear. 

     They spent the rest of the afternoon talking about Thessalia. She enjoyed hearing all the stories Nithenoel had to share, even if some of them painted her mother in a bad light. They made her feel as if she was growing closer to her in some ways. This must’ve been what Ferreth meant when he said the dead lived on through the people whose lives they’ve touched. She was beginning to understand that now. 

     Then the time came for them to leave. It wasn’t hard to say goodbye but she was unsure as to whether she’d see Nithenoel again. She was only in Thal Esari for one thing and she would be seeing to that one thing tomorrow morning. They planned on leaving soon after. It’d be unfair of her to ask for more time from Ferreth when she could just learn more about Thessalia by reading the rest of her journal. If fate would let them, she’d meet her again. 

     Bidding her farewell, she decided to meander about. The sun was beginning to slowly set over the horizon but she had no desire to go home just yet. It was during her talk with Nithenoel she had an idea. She wanted to go to one of the very few places she didn’t dare wander in as a child. 

     “Hey, Ferret?” She turned to face him, resolved. “Before we go home, there’s…one more thing I wanted to check out.” 

     They made their way over to the western end of the village. It had to still be there, it just had to be. It was only when she saw the black wrought iron fence surrounding a plot of land she knew they arrived at the graveyard. 

     She grabbed one of the spikes on the rusty gate and pushed it open. An immediate sense of gloom and sorrow fell upon her, almost choking her. There were graves neatly arranged into several rows, spanning as far as her eyes could see. Some had bouquets of flowers while others had trinkets laying beside them. She dreaded coming across one of her victims’ names as she tried to find Thessalia’s grave. Letting out an apprehensive breath through her nose, she stepped in. 

     It didn’t take long to find it. Under a dying oak tree was a small stone monument with Thessalia’s name engraved on a plaque. From the 6th of Mylunaeia to the 1st of the same month 22 years later, she lived till the day of her daughter’s birth. A bouquet of blue forget-me-nots laid in front of the grave, no doubt from Nithenoel. This was it, the place her mother was put to rest. 

     Kneeling down, she ran her fingers over the epitaph. “Beloved daughter and friend” was etched below her name, which she found to be ironic. A woman believed to be a cheap lay by everyone but her parents and only friend/lover. She bowed her head, joined her hands in prayer and talked in silence. 

      _Mother, it’s me, Venlithea, your daughter. I know it’s my first time speaking to you in the 20 years I’ve been alive and I’m sorry for it not happening sooner. I met Nithenoel and she told me a lot about you. How passionate you were, how carefree you were, even how loving you were. But she also told me about the night you were…you know, and how everyone turned against you for it._

      _I know I have no right in saying this but they shouldn’t have treated you like that. You deserved better. You didn’t do anything wrong, no matter what they may say. I may not know you but I believe you were a good person in desperate need of help._

      _I wouldn’t have blamed you for hating me. I know I might look like my father and I might’ve reminded you of him every time you would’ve looked at me and…I wish you had a choice. I don’t know what kind of mother you would’ve been but I want to say…thank you. Thank you for having me, even if everyone said otherwise. Thank you for caring enough about me to want what was best for me. Thank you for trying your best. Thank you…for being my mother._

     She opened her eyes to see night had fallen. Stars twinkled up above as mist rolled in through the gaps in the fence. The dim lantern fires from afar were the only lights she could make out within the darkness. She stood up and began heading to where Ferreth was, who had opted to stay behind while she talked to Thessalia. 

     It was creepy walking through the graveyard in misty darkness. Something could be lurking behind each corner she turned and she’d never know it. She kept her eyes peeled for any moving shadows or sudden movements. Before long, she reached the gate and let out a breath she didn’t even know she was holding in. 

     After pushing the gate open, Ferreth asked, “How’d it go?” 

     “I found her grave and…told her how I felt,” she replied, stepping through and latching the gate shut. “I can leave this place without any regrets now.” 

     “That’s good. By the way, there’s something I need to tell you about.” He glanced around as if to see if anyone was nearby and leaned down to whisper in her ear. “I think we’re being watched.” 

     “I know.” 

     “Wait, you know?” He backed up. “For how long?” 

     “I’ve known since we first stepped foot here. We’ve been watched the whole time we’ve been here.” 

     “If you knew that, then why didn’t you mention it?” 

     “I’m used to being watched, Ferret. Even when I lived here, Lady Filaurel always had someone keeping an eye out for me at the places I’d go to everyday. They always found a way to catch me stealing or defending myself or whatever else they could think of and that’s why I got punished so often. She wasn’t lying when she said she’d be watching over me.” 

     She was naive to think Filaurel would just let her roam about. The feeling of having eyes trained on her was all too familiar. The incident from yesterday was her reminder of the consequences that’d follow if she failed her task. She knew what buttons to push in order to scare her and it would’ve worked if not for her quick thinking. Thank god she didn’t need to fear another whip cracking tomorrow. 

     “...We’re leaving after we’re done with Filaurel tomorrow,” he said suddenly, his fists clenched. “This place is…hell. It’s hell and we shouldn’t stay here any longer. At least we’re not watched like hawks back home.” 

     “Okay.” She understood why he felt like that. Thal Esari was already a place he hated for simply being the place she suffered in but the constant surveillance just made him swear it off completely. “We’ll go home tomorrow.” 

     As they began walking back towards the house, a chilly breeze blew by. She shivered and drew the flaps of her cloak close. It was then she heard what sounded like a voice whispering on the wind. It was too low and quiet for her to make anything out but she swore she heard a voice. She whirled around to face the graveyard, squinting her eyes to see if anything was there. 

     “What’s wrong?” he asked. 

     “...It’s nothing,” she replied, turning back. “I thought I heard a voice just now but it might’ve been the wind or something.” 

     Despite her brushing it off, he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and said, “Why don’t you stick close by me till we get back to the house, ‘kay?” 

     She didn’t question him and let him bring her close. A seed of anxiety began to grow in her stomach as they continued on their way. She was utterly terrified of what was to come tomorrow. 

     She couldn’t afford to be scared. She needed to be brave and face whatever the verdict was. Would she be forgiven for her past crime or would she be rejected and forever vindicated by Thal Esari? Tomorrow was a new day and she hoped to come out on the other side okay. No matter what happened, she was determined to see it through to the end.


	6. For Her Sake

     A scream rang out into the night, jolting Ferreth awake. His heart raced as he quickly sat up on the couch, his eyes darting about the room. He strained his ears to pick up something, anything, and he heard it. Sobbing, coming from Ven’s room. Throwing off the blanket, he ran down the hallway and stopped at her door. He didn’t bother knocking and barged into her room.

     Ven was sitting up in bed, hugging her knees as she cried. Her body was curled up so tight… He could barely understand the words that were falling out of her mouth but they were clear enough for him to confirm what he suspected. 

     “Why couldn’t it have been me? Why wasn’t it me? Why did I live? Why couldn’t it have been me?!” 

     This wasn’t like the other times her nightmares had woken her up. She’d shrug it off and try to go back to sleep or power through the night. Not this, though. This was his first time seeing her like this and it broke his heart. 

     He knelt beside her and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. She turned to look at him, her eyes red and puffy and her hair disheveled. More tears spilled over her cheeks as she latched on to him, burying her face in the crook of his neck and her hands gripping the front of his shirt. He brought her closer, rubbing his thumb along her arm to console her. 

     “Ferreth, I…I…” 

     “Shh, it’ll be okay. I’m here.” 

     “S-stay with me, please…please…” 

     His arms tightened around her as he nosed through her hair. It hurt to know that he couldn’t take away her pain. He couldn’t just wish it away or take it upon himself. The familiar feeling of helplessness crept up again and he could do nothing about it. If she wanted him to stay with her, he’d do it. If being with her meant she’d feel better for a little while, then that’s all that mattered. 

     Still holding her, he carefully slid onto the bed, attempting to not disturb her more. It was uncomfortably small, definitely not for someone of his stature. He had to curl his legs up and bend his neck down to avoid bumping his head against the headboard. He had an arm draped over her waist and the other awkwardly folded underneath his head. Tonight would NOT be a good night for sleep. 

     She had quieted down some, though he could still hear her sniffling. There was nothing he could say to brighten the mood. Instead, he chose to look out the cracked window to gaze at the silvery full moon in the sky. It was as beautiful as always, its gentle light blanketing the village in a soft grayish blue. 

     What would tomorrow, or more like today, bring? It was the day they needed to report back to Filaurel about the completion of their task. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t know what her verdict would be. 

     He’d never say it to her. He tried, he really wanted to try, but he just couldn’t find it within himself to believe that she was going to be forgiven. Not because he thought she didn’t deserve it but Filaurel wouldn’t give her that. She was too stuck in her prejudiced beliefs to forgive her. Even if she did, she’d somehow find a way to twist it to not mean anything and leave her devastated. Either way, Ven would be walking out of Thal Esari, picking up the pieces of her broken heart. 

     Upon noticing the silence, he looked down to see her sleeping. He felt relieved; she needed all the rest she could get. He began carding his fingers through her hair to settle down the anxiety bundle bouncing around in his stomach. 

     This poor girl has undergone so much pain in her short life. There’s no counting how many times she’s wanted to give up, to run away from it all. Yet she still found the strength to resist those temptations, the courage to come back here and ask for forgiveness. Her bravery and fortitude are just small parts of herself that he, along with many others, admire her for. Only in his wildest dreams would he even think of coming close to being like her… 

     So he decided to wait out the rest of the night. If she had another nightmare, he didn’t want to be sleeping in case she needed to be comforted again. Her scream also gave him quite the shock to his senses so… He stared out the window to see the telltale signs of the sun rising as it painted the sky in gold and violet hues. 

     Dawn came at last, though not in the way he expected. He watched as dark clouds rolled in, lightning flashing above and low rumbles of thunder following soon after. How fitting for a storm to occur on a climatic day, he thought. 

     What seemed like hours passed by till he felt her stirring awake. He stopped what he was doing as her eyes slowly fluttered open. Tired amethyst eyes looked into his and it was as if he couldn’t breathe. Her first waking up was a rare sight to see and she was as beautiful as ever. 

     “Ferret? Is there something on my face?” she asked before letting out a yawn. 

     Realizing he had been staring at her, he averted his gaze while blushing furiously, saying, “N-no, there’s nothing! Absolutely nothing! Nothing at all!” 

     “Uh, is it okay if you, um…” She glanced down and let go of his shirt. 

     “O-oh, yeah, sure,” he stammered out as he awkwardly rolled off the bed. 

     It was after he left the room he felt pins and needles were being jabbed into his arms and legs. That, alongside the crick in his neck, hurt and it sucked. Never again did he want to stay in a bed meant for someone much smaller than him. At least he didn’t have to put up with it for long. 

     They were going home after their check-in with Filaurel. They just needed to last a little while longer and then it was smooth sailing from there on out. He could already hear the seconds ticking away in his head. 

     He yawned and almost collapsed on the couch as the weight of exhaustion crashed onto him. His eyelids felt heavy yet he knew he had a full day’s travel ahead of him. Just hold on until tonight, that’s all he had to do. He patted his cheeks in an attempt to stay awake, hoping it’d work its magic. 

     When he heard her door open, he quickly stood up to face her. She came out with her hair brushed and pulled back and her eyes bright. Even the cuts and bruises she sustained a couple days ago seemed to have healed. He probably looked way worse, compared to her. 

     “Hey, you doing okay after…last night?” he asked. 

     “Yeah.” She cast her eyes downward, as if she was guilty of something. “…I’m sorry for lying to you.” 

     Confused, he asked, “Lied? What did you lie about?” 

     “Remember when you asked me yesterday about my nightmares and I said they were the same as usual? I had one like last night’s the night before,” she replied, her eyes fixed to the ground. 

     “Ven, why didn’t you tell me? I would’ve done something to help you if I had known.” 

     “I didn’t want to worry you more than I already did. I thought I could take care of it on my own and not be a burden to you. I’m sorry.” 

     No matter how many times he’s said it to her, she’d never believe she wasn’t a burden to him. He wasn’t angry at her, or even disappointed. It was just exasperating to try and convince her to let him help her with things like this. Still, he’s only got words by his side so he has to use them to the best of his ability. Maybe if he repeated himself enough times, she’ll finally believe him. 

     “Ven--” He put both hands on her shoulders-- “you are not, have not been, and will never be a burden to me. I said you could lean on me whenever you wanted to and I meant every word. What happened to not trying to feel like one?” 

     “I know and I still managed to screw it up,” she muttered, continuing to stare at the ground. 

     “Hey.” He took hold of her chin, lifted it up, and looked into her eyes. “I know it’s hard to rely on others but I’m here for you. I promised I’d be there for you and I don’t plan on going back on it. Don’t be afraid, okay?” 

     She smiled softly as she butted her forehead against his. He knew he couldn’t stop her from feeling like she was a burden to him. He could only hope his words were finally starting to get through to her. Maybe her doing this meant she was beginning to believe him if just a little. 

     Once they left the house, he glanced up at the sky and grimaced. The storm was making more of its presence known, its clouds as dark as night and its lightning strikingly white. It looked as if rain would come gushing down at any second. It was bad and they were going to be caught in it, one way or another. 

     His mind began to wander off as they walked towards the village square. So much had happened within the last few days. The first couple were nothing to write home about but the third day nearly sent him to an early grave. Yesterday was probably the most pleasant day they had here, though that wasn’t saying much. How was Ven taking all of this? 

     Then a question popped into his head. It was a question he had honestly never thought of asking before because it hadn’t mattered till now. He may already know the answer but he still needed to ask it. 

     “Hey, Ven, is it okay if I ask you something? You don’t have to answer it if it makes you uncomfortable.” 

     “What is it?” 

     “Do you… Do you think you’ll ever tell Eric about what happened?” 

     She stopped dead in her tracks and he instantly regretted asking that. Eric was easily the most important person in her life. There’s no way she could just tell him every torturous detail of her life before him. She’s convinced people would be terrified of her if they knew of what she did. She loved Eric too much, way too much, to ever tell him and risk having him be scared of her. 

     “I…I don’t know,” she replied hesitantly, clutching her chest. “I’m scared to tell him because what if he’s afraid of me? What if he hates me? What if…I lose him?” 

     “Ohh, Ven…” He hated being right. “He won’t think any differently of you.” 

     “It’s just… He was the first person to show me kindness in such a long time, the first person to be friends with me. He risked everything for me and I can’t ever repay him for all he’s done. I don’t wanna lose him or have him hate me.” 

     “You know how he is. You’d have to be an especially horrible person for him to even think of hating you and you aren’t. You believe that, don’t you?” 

     Seeing her withdraw more, he hastily said, “Whatever you choose to do is up to you. I won’t pressure you or tell him anything.” 

     He decided to end the conversation there. She buried her face into her cloak as he looked on sadly. Her friendship with Eric mattered too much to her to want to risk it. She had a right to decide on if and when she wanted to tell him about her past. It was her story to tell and he refused to take that away from her. 

     What started as a couple raindrops became a sudden downpour. They ran the rest of the way to the town hall, desperate to avoid getting soaked. Deftly walking up the stairs, they barged into the foyer. 

     He shivered as the coldness of the interior hit him. Ven was faring better than him, due to her cloak protecting most of her body from the rain. He looked over at the set of doors that laid before them. 

     Just beyond those doors was Filaurel. He, for one, could not wait to get what they were here for over with so they could go home that much quicker. She reached a hand out towards the knob and stopped. He could see it trembling ever so slightly and knew he had to step in. 

     Grabbing her hand to lead it to the knob, he said, “No matter what goes on in there, I’ll be there with you.” 

     She gave him an affirmative nod and let out a deep breath. She seemed to be trying her best to not let her fear show in front of him. Confronting her abuser for the second time this week was probably making her anxious as all hell and she was still wanting to ease his worries. He meant every word he said to her, for better or worse. She finally pushed the door open and they walked in. 

     Everything appeared to be the same as when they first came in here. The floor length window that now showed the deluge of rain. The dais that held three seats to their left and the group of benches meant for an audience to their right. In the center, much like before, was Filaurel. 

     Just looking at her made him bristle. What use was there in saying more than he already did? The woman scarred Ven for life because she had a sick and demented way of handing out “discipline”. She brainwashed her into believing she was a monster, that she didn’t deserve or have a right to exist, and for what? Because she carried an absurd hatred towards Vlixeoxs? Whatever it was, no way in hell did it excuse doing what she did to a child. 

     “My Lady--” Ven knelt down before her, with him following suit-- “we’ve come back bearing news of our success.” 

     Giving them a haughty chuckle, Filaurel said, “So you actually did it, and within the time limit as well… I must say, I’m impressed.” 

     He wanted to mimic her like the petty guy he was. The tone in which she spoke that was as if she didn’t expect them to even do it, much less in the time she allowed them. Still, he kept his mouth shut. He didn’t want to jeopardize Ven’s chances at forgiveness by acting immature. 

     “If it isn’t too much to ask, my request?” she asked shyly, both of them standing up. 

     “Ah, that. I had honestly forgotten about it,” Filaurel replied, her hands tightening on the grip of her cane. “You know I don’t like being reminded of my age, Venli---” 

     “I-I’m sorry, my Lady, I-I didn’t mean to---” 

     She slammed the butt of her cane down to quiet her. “What have I told you about interrupting me, young lady? Surely you haven’t forgotten that among everything else, have you?” 

     Ven timidly bowed her head while apologizing. It was getting harder and harder for him to bite his tongue with each word that spewed out of her mouth. He couldn’t wait for this to be over with so they could head back to Aurora Zenith. There, she’d be treated with the respect she deserved. 

     “Now, about what you asked for…” 

     They waited for her answer with bated breath. He wasn’t expecting forgiveness, their first meeting sealed the deal on that right away. She was too cruel and heartless to suddenly be “generous”, whatever her definition of that was. Then there was the matter of how Ven would take this. 

     She was going to be crushed, that much he knew for sure. Whether it be by rejection or a massive guilt trip from Filaurel, the result would be the same. The only question was, what would hurt more? 

     “Unfortunately, your crime is far too great for what you seek so I will not grant you forgiveness.” 

     He watched her face fall in devastation. Even when he knew it was coming, it did little to ease the pain he felt after seeing that. He needed to get her out of here before she started crying. He put a hand on her shoulder to turn her away when--- 

     “How long?” She took a step forward. “How long did you consider?” Don’t do this, don’t challenge her, he silently begged. 

     As the thunder slowly rumbled outside, Filaurel asked, her voice low and holding back tranquil fury, “Are you questioning me? Do you dare question my ruling?” 

     “N-no, I-I-I’m just asking if…” She stopped speaking, all the color gone from her face. 

     “If what?” She slammed her cane down once more, startling Ven. “You know how much I hate you not finishing your sentences.” 

     “Did you ever think of forgiving me or were you never going to, no matter what I did?” 

     Outside of the rain battering on the window, the room was deathly quiet. He wasn’t sure on what would happen next. If it came down to it, he’d grab Ven and hightail it the hell outta Thal Esari. Filaurel began to walk towards them after a moment passed, a look of barely restrained rage on her face. 

     “I-I’m sorry, my Lady, I spoke out of line so please---” 

     With the curved grip of the cane under her chin, Filaurel interrupted her with, “We’re past the point of apologies, Venlithea. You have a lot of gall to question me on whether or not I thought about granting you forgiveness. Frankly, I didn’t **have** to mull over such an outrageous motion, considering the severity of your crime, but I did. So don’t you dare challenge my authority again.” 

     “I-I’m sorry, my Lady.” He could see her shaking like a leaf from how scared she was. “P-please forgive me…” 

     “Honestly, what in your right mind made you think you could just ask for forgiveness? The blood on your hands can never be washed away, least of all with a simple task. You killed fifteen people. Fifteen innocent lives---” 

     “What…? Fifteen?” Was this her first time hearing how many had died that day? So they only saw half the people she… 

     “No matter what you do in the name of ‘atonement’, you’ll never be forgiven for what you’ve done. You should be ashamed for even thinking a monster such as you is worthy of forgiveness.” 

     A lightning bolt struck down then, the window rattling as thunder boomed. It shrouded Filaurel in shadow while illuminating Ven in light for a split second. He could see the tears rolling down her cheeks. 

     He swore he could taste blood from how hard he was biting on his bottom lip. He was _this_ close to grabbing the bitch and chucking her out the window. The only thing stopping him was his promise to Ven to not let his temper run wild. Why won’t she stand up for herself? 

     “Stop your sniveling, Venlithea. You needn’t act like a child over me telling you what you did all those years ago when the families you irreparably destroyed are still grieving over their lost loved ones to this day. Not only are you selfish, you’re cold-hearted as well. Get out of my sight and don’t think about coming back here ever again. I’ll have you killed on the spot.” She turned away brusquely and gestured at the door to wave them out. 

     He could tell she was fighting the urge to just collapse. His heart ached at seeing her shoulders tremble and hearing her breath hitch. His vision narrowed on Filaurel as he felt his teeth sharpen into jagged points. He had been holding back for her sake but this was the last straw. 

     “V-very well. Thank you for at least considering my request. We’ll be leaving now.” She sniffled as she turned to leave. He quickly took hold of her wrist. 

     “Hey, Filaurel,” he called out, almost growling the words as he said them, “you wanna take back what you said?” 

     “I thought I ordered you to leave. **Both** of you,” she emphasized. 

     “Ferret, let’s just go, okay? It’s not worth it,” Ven tearfully whispered, touching his arm with her free hand. 

     “No, Ven, I’ve had enough of this bitch walking all over you just because she can. Now she gets to deal with me.” 

     “And what, pray tell, do you want with me?” she asked, her mouth a wry smile. “Don’t tell me you condone this murderous girl’s actions.” 

     “It’s your fault those people are dead! You may not have been the one to kill them but you pushed a little girl to that point with your twisted ways of doling out punishment. The only one I see deserving the honor of being a monster is you, lady.” 

     “You have a lot of nerve, talking to me like that. You do know who you’re talking to, don’t you?” 

     “Yeah and I don’t give a fuck! You’re just an old cunt who tortured a kid for being a Vlixeox! Why the hell should I treat you with any kind of respect when you utterly refuse to treat Ven with an ounce of it?!” 

     “How dare you talk to me like that… You have no right in speaking to me like that when you answer to me!” 

     “The only person I answer to is my lord, a man that doesn’t see Ven as a monster like you and everyone else in this fucking village. You’re just a hag that gets off on abusing your power on people weaker than you. You’d be nothing without that.” 

     “Then tell me, **what** is so special about her?! What is so special about a Vlixeox that slaughtered several of my citizens in cold blood?!” 

     “She’s not you. We happened to meet some of those she killed and they forgave her for what she did. They did that because they knew she never meant for any of what happened that day to happen. You say one more word about her and I dare you to try me, bitch.” 

     Another bolt of lightning struck down outside. She became shrouded in shadow once more but he caught a glimpse of fear overtaking her beet red face. She’s probably never seen a Dradnach before this moment and it must’ve scared her, seeing the eyes and teeth like that. Good. 

     It was darkly thrilling to have someone like her be afraid of him. She deserved every last bit of the terror she was feeling, since it was nothing compared to Ven’s. He’d do so much more but he needed to take care of a more important matter. 

     With her lack of a response, he said rather curtly, “ _Now_ we’ll be leaving.” 

     He wrapped an arm around Ven’s shoulders and gently led her out the room. Each step he took, slight tremors shook the building, causing tiny cracks to appear along the walls and ceiling. It may have been petty but it was the best way to vent his anger without getting physical and alerting the guards. 

     The rain had lessened some when they came out. The guard posted at the bottom of the stairs threw them a glance in their direction but a quick glare scared him back to his front. She only sniffled as tears continued to fall down her cheeks, worrying him. He needed to get her to a quiet place to calm down. His outburst probably worsened her already jumbled emotional state. 

     Although he was naturally easygoing, he had a nasty temper. Whether it was due to his lineage or his race, he could be scary when he was pissed. He only lost it once around her and it terrified her to the point of tears. He’s kept his anger in check since then but he couldn’t do it this time. How could he stand there and stay silent as she was almost driven to her knees in despair? He may have just expressed his fury in words instead of his fists but it still must’ve scared her. 

     They finally returned to the house, the rain a light drizzle now. He led her below the roof and slid his jacket off to begin drying her. Slight hiccups escaped from her mouth as she whimpered. Seeing her like this sent disappointment coursing through his body, believing himself to be the cause of it. 

     “Ven?” he called out softly. “Listen, I’m sorry for losing my cool back there. I just couldn’t sit back and let that bi---woman say that crap to you. I know you’re probably scared but I---” 

     She cut him off with a hug. Her arms wrapped around his waist as she buried her face into his stomach, feeling her tears soaking through his shirt. He was about to ask her what was wrong when she tearfully said--- 

     “Thank you. Thank you for being with me, for being my friend. Thank you, Ferreth.” 

     His heart swelled with love as he smiled warmly down at her. This girl would seriously be the death of him someday and he was perfectly okay with that. She didn’t need to be thanking him for doing what anyone would’ve done in that situation. He’d do it again in a heartbeat, if it made her happy. 

     “Jeez… Crying doesn’t suit you, Ven.” He knelt down in front of her, gently holding her hand as he wiped away her tears. “I think a smile fits you better so try and give me the best one you can muster. It doesn’t have to be big.” 

     Through her tears, she gave him a small smile. Sunlight trickled out from behind the clouds while the rain lightened to a sprinkle. Today wasn’t over by any stretch of the imagination but he thought it was starting to look up. 

     Wiping away a stray tear, he stood up and whispered, “Let’s go home, okay?” 

     So their time in Thal Esari had come to a close. He’d be lying if he said he enjoyed staying here and couldn’t wait to visit again. The trip wasn’t a complete bust, though he wished he never came in the first place. If there was anything he learned from all this, it was that Ven deserved to be happy, more so than he thought. 

     He wanted to give her everything in the whole world and more. He knew it to be an impossible task so he’d settle for her happiness instead. This trip caused her a lot of pain and heartache but she managed to get through it. If she could do that and come out better than before, she’d be okay. It was time for them to go home and, with that, the chance for a brighter future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is a bit late to start implementing but I'm doing some changes that I can't really mention on here without the risk of getting my account banned so I'd suggest following my [Twitter](https://twitter.com/multisfabulis) for both updates and to know what these new changes are!


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